is it a toktik or is it a business ad? @chocobo

[mesospheric]

[ It begins with… a blink. Some guy with gravity-defying blond hair looks around, as if surveying the area for passer-by before he engages in what must surely be an embarrassing affair, like the filming of a TokTik. ]

This isn’t necessary, but—

Do you… need things done?

[ He sort of starts off strong before trailing off in classic Embarrassed Delinquent-esque reluctance. His eyes, locked ahead. His expression, stony. ]

For a fee, certain troublesome tasks can be done for you to satisfying completion. This includes but is not limited to: monster slaying, bodyguard duty, and… errands.

The fee will fluctuate depending on what a hassle I find it to be.

[ Another blink. Another look around. Something surely comes next, right? Damn. Is Cloud his own PR department? ]

… I look forward to working with you.

[ And just like that, the feed ends. ]

MERC WORK
contact Cloud Strife for more info

Comments

@ typhoon

[photosympathies]

This was so much suaver than when I told everyone I was a rent boy. Good job, buddy!

[mesospheric]

A
rent boy

Yeah wow, okay. I can agree on that without a problem.

[photosympathies]

I didn't know what it meant. I just wanted to be helpful.

( 🫠🫠🫠 )

I gave flyers to people on the street, it was real bad.

[mesospheric]

…
I hate to ask in that I’m not actually sure I want to know, BUT


how many called you for mercenary work and how many for other things?

[photosympathies]

I had to change my number. It was Bad. I didn't even know half of the things they wanted existed.

[mesospheric]

[ Wherever Cloud is, even alone as he is, he’s covering his mouth and turning his head aside while the mirth runs its course.



pffuuuheheh ]

That’s real bad.
You still in the business?
Mercenary, I mean.

[photosympathies]

Oh. I'm not, no, I was just offering help with odd jobs.

Anything, really.

But you are?

[mesospheric]

Mercenary is the easiest word anyone can take and understand, so it’s what I am. As long as I’m paid for it, I can do anything.

… Except recover the remains of your reputation. There are limits.

[mace_pray_love]

[just a lurker scrolling though the comments and getting scandalized, please disregard]

[photosympathies]

( HE'S NOT.

IT'S NOT ONE OF HIS FOUR JOBS, HE SWEARS. )

[mace_pray_love]

[all this, and he’s not even getting paid… Poor Mr. Vash might be beyond help.]

[shadowban]

you should add context whenever you bring this up, vash-san. it's a bit alarming.

[photosympathies]

...

Man, I did it again.

[shadowban]

somewhat, vash-san. i'm so sorry.

[photosympathies]

It's not that I even mind! I've met some real nice prostitutes. But it's false advertising. I'd be super bad at it.

( 😫 )

[shadowban]

...you'd be bad at being a prostitute???

vash-san that seems a little demeaning towards yourself. are you not confident in yourself?

[photosympathies]

Well, Four Finger Jenny says you have to offer discounts for missing parts and I only have one nipple and I really don't want that to be my defining characteristic, okay? It's embarrassing.

Anyway don't you have to be like ... skilled???

@Goldilocks

[likemybooks]

This was before we started wearing our new jackets right???

[PLEASE DON'T ASSOCIATE THEIR COOL CLUB WITH THIS]

asdfg

[photosympathies]

It was my first week here, so yeah. You're safe, I haven't made the same mistake twice.

[likemybooks]

Oh good. I was worried I would have to change my look whenever I went out.

[photosympathies]

You wouldn't stick by me if I was a rent boy?

( 🥺🥺🥺 )

[mesospheric]

If he doesn’t, I can.

For a price.

[photosympathies]

How much?

[likemybooks]

I was more worried about people approaching *me* when they noticed our matching uniforms.

[photosympathies]

Oh, no.

The weird phone calls stopped pretty quick. I think the natives have forgotten,