Audio; @Destiny

[intertwinedfates]

[It's one of those slow days for a certain god, so he's started mulling over things in that ominous sort of way one does around 3am. This despite the fact it is NOT three in the fucking morning and is instead during the day when normal people are doing normal people things.

Sadly, Yato is not normal.]

Hey guys! I've been thinking, if you could choose what sort of kaiju shows up next, what would it be?

Some of us want a big turkey or chicken kaiju for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but how cool would it be if there was a capybara kaiju?! Or maybe you wanna see a unicorn one! Or something freaky with tentacles and lots of eyes! You monsterfuckers, you. Hehe~

So tell me about your dream kaiju! I'm all ears!

And no saying "no kaiju" - that's cheating!

Comments

@goddess of death, voice

[queenofkur]

What is a... [How he'd said it?] "Minister faker" and why would it enjoy a kaiju with tentacles and a lot of eyes?

asdfgh Eresh;;

[intertwinedfates]

[hALP HOW DOES HE HANDLE THIS WITHOUT GETTING KILLED OR SPOILING HER INNOCENCE??]

......uh.

[Best play it straight.]

"Monsterfucker." And, uh, it's kinda exactly like it sounds. Some people... get turned on by inhuman creatures. Y'know! Like the story of the Minotaur! Or Leda and the swan!

there is no escaping

[queenofkur]

Turned on..?

[ She's not familiar with all that lingo kids use nowadays. Sorry Yato, you're gonna have to spell it out in excruciating details. ]

her innocence is like a steel bear trap;;

[intertwinedfates]

Hell's bells, Ere, we need to get you out more...

[This is the grave he's dug for himself and he didn't even need a damn shovel. Well, he wanted conversation, and he got it!]

Sexy. Some people think monsters are sexy in the "hot diggity, I wanna fuck 'em" kind of way.






...please tell me you know what fuck means. [DON'T MAKE HIM DO ALL THE LEGWORK]

@ typhoon

[photosympathies]

was monsterfucking a thing everyone knew about but me???

[intertwinedfates]

[Oops, hiya Vash.]

I think it's something you end up learning about one way or another over the years. It just took you a little longer than some folks. It's okay!

@Gojira

[30storieshigh]

Tentacles 🦑🐙.

This is a feature humans and humanoids find desirable in those unlike them in shape 🤔?

[ LILITH has started offering tentacles as an enhancement recently haven't they? Abhorrent as mechanical additions to his being is, maybe they're necessary in this case... ]

[intertwinedfates]

Surprisingly, yes. Be it octopi or squid or aliens, humans seem to like long, squiggly appendages. Not quite sure of the reasoning.

[Have they?? If that's the case he might have to ask what Hiyori's preferences are on the matter.

Y'know. Just out of curiosity.]

[photosympathies]

a part of me wishes i could unlearn it.
not that i think people shouldn't!!! they should do whatever they want!!!
but i have so many questions.

[intertwinedfates]

Don't blame ya there. It's a lot to unpack.
But hey, if there's something you wanna know, class is open for session!

[queenofkur]

[ People think monsters are sexy...? W-Well, she supposes there are tastes for everything, but: ]

O-Of course I do! It's a bad word people like us shouldn't be using, Yato.

But I do not understand why you would use it here, it sounds out of place. Does it mean something else in that context?

[ She's heard "What the fuck" or "fuck you," or "fucking hell," but that use of the word is a new one for her. Sorry Yato, you walked into that one yourself. ]

[30storieshigh]

I see.

This is consistent amongst them? In similarities to the focus on chest size in females ✊️💥🚪?

[ Leave it to Godzilla to find an emoji combination for the slang "knockers"... ]

[intertwinedfates]

[Oh, sweet summer Eresh. Yato's foul mouth is a perpetual crime of his.]

Ehehe... Oh boy.

Uh, in this case, it basically means... someone... who wouldn't mind if their partner were a very inhuman creature. Animal, monster, alien. That sort of thing.

[All he wanted was to talk about ridiculous or fun kaiju, dammit! Why did this happen?! Because you're a crude twit, Yato.]

[intertwinedfates]

Um, thankfully not, I don't think? I know Hiyori's never mentioned it before. I think it might just count as a fetish or something.

Whereas boob size being a preference is almost universal.

[Honestly, the big guy's emoji use is downright impressive. As someone who's still mostly used to kaomoji, he could learn a thing or two.]

[queenofkur]

...........?!?

[ The audio feeds cuts off abruptly. Instead she replies through text. ]

W
W
Why would anyone want that?
I'd get it if you were talking about Ishtar but
I
This is
U

[ Let her reboot please... ]

@rubber ducky

[curingidiocy]

Have you nothing better to waste your time on?

[ Yato, you are easily the least respectable of the four gods here... ]

[30storieshigh]

[ Not universal! That's a relief, but it raises further questions. ]

🤨
What of well maintained claws, fangs, and scales? Or fur?

Certainly these hold wider appeal amongst humanoids, yes 🤔?

[intertwinedfates]

[HE'S SORRY, ERESH, HE NEVER MEANT TO TAINT YOUR INNOCENCE IN SUCH A WAY]]

S
Some people are just kinky, I guess?

Don't count me among them! I like human ladies just fine!!



Though I gotta admit that when Hiyori has a tail, it is pretty cute.



And I didn't mind the way she looked when she almost became an ayakashi...

[queenofkur]

YATO
STOPS TALKING ABOUT HIYORI LIKE THAT
WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

[ She doesn't want to hear his dirty thoughts about her! This is getting worse by the second! ]

[intertwinedfates]

[Is this turning into a monsterfucker Q&A??]

Oh, people love those! Especially fangs, fur, and claws. Scales might depend on the smoothness, if just because they have delicate skin.

So really, you're probably prime material for some folks out there.

[intertwinedfates]

[When in doubt, lean in to what you're good at?]

Not especially? Though I have to say I didn't expect so much of the conversation to go the way it has.

[photosympathies]

ahahhaa.
they're not really questions i think you can answer.
it's just me staring at my hands going WHY really loudly.

[intertwinedfates]

BUT

ISN'T IT GOOD THAT I LIKE HER HOWEVER SHE IS?? WHETHER IT'S WITH A TAIL OR FANGS AND CLAWS OR

[At least he has the decency to stop there?!]

[intertwinedfates]

Oooh, gotcha. The 'why' bit is pretty hard to nail down, honestly. People have been fascinated by the whole line of thought since forever, so I guess it's just some inborn curiosity.

[30storieshigh]

⁉️⁉️⁉️
Indeed? This is not a thing I have considered.

One wonders what other traits humanoids search for in other species 🚻🔎🦖🐉🦊.