𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚡 𝙽𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔

[This video starts with one silver-haired girl sitting prim and proper on a floor cushion. Behind her a studio just freshly scrubbed and waxed glints behind her. She’s looking a little resigned, somewhat downcast, but after a second of squaring her shoulders and mustering her chin up she finally decides to speak.]

Good evening.

With the recent surge of newcomers I felt it prudent to introduce myself in a way that would be accessible to everyone. I am Yui Shousetsu, from Everlight. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me for assistance on most matters.

[Now that she’s got that out of the way—]

I also would like to mention that I have begun a position as lead trainer at a martial arts dojo here in the city and the owner was kind enough to allow me to advertise its opening here. Of course we have the training arena for more robust battle simulations, but for those interested in sharpening your senses in a more rustic environment then please know we are always accepting new members.

[She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.]

Bear in mind that on certain days we hold classes for children which is available on our calendar. If anyone is interested in volunteering or working part-time to assist in lessons then please feel free to notify me. It would be greatly appreciated.

... lastly, the owner has requested I include this message.

[As she pulls out a slip of paper from her sleeve.]

... "If you know what is good for you, you'll ditch the fancy schmancy gadgets and join our prestigious studio. Come with fire in your hearts so I can beat your ragged bodies until they shine like sharpened diamonds."

[Hmmmmmm... ok. Shousetsu lowers the paper and her head.]

Thank you for your time.

(In the middle of the night, characters may wake up to a random email from @/shiro that simply reads,)

CC: SEND ALL
SUBJECT: no subject
message: 📎tits.jpeg
( 📎 see attachment )

[ A letter is posted on the network. Evidently, Ereshkigal is convinced she's sent it to the proper recipient, and not to everyone ever. Turns out she's not very good with technology. ]

To the guards who were in charge of helping Shizuka and I:

I write this letter to give you my sincerest apologies. I realize my reaction was excessive and no words exist that can properly convey the depths of my regrets. Of course, under normal circumstances, I would harshly reprimand you for your behavior. Attempting to use your authority to coerce results is shameful indeed. Making use of threats and violence is unbefitting of those with guarding duties. Furthermore, the position you hold require a certain maturity you are very clearly lacking. I firmly believe the three of you to not only be unfit for your duties, but also unfit for any positions that give you an ounce of authority over other living entities.

However, I shall not reprimand you this time as the fault is entirely mine. No matter how vile and repugnant your behavior was, it does not excuse my actions. As the Goddess of Death and Queen of Kûr, you are in right to expect more from me. I may have only intended to scare you when I took the form that is mine as Queen of the Gallû Spirits, but good intents does not excuse evil results. I had expected you to run away at a much greater pace than you did... Thus did my attack hit you. I am ashamed of my behavior and promises to do better from now on.

I talked to the doctor and he assured me you will be able to leave your bed within three months at the very most. It is my understanding human doctors tend to be very conservative in their estimates. I believe there is cause to be hopeful, in two months you may very well be back on your feet! I plan to visit you and bring a gift as soon as possible. Even if you are abhorrent human beings, as a Goddess of the human order, mine is the task to look after you.

I wish you the best of recovery possible;
ERESHKIGAL, GODDESS OF DEATH AND QUEEN OF KÛR

[ For no reason, a new user just posts this in the network: ]

DO WARM-UPS!

BARBELL SQUATS (SUMO STANCE)

- FIRST SET 10 REPS

- SECOND SET 9 REPS

- THIRD SET 8 REPS

BARBELL GOOD MORNINGS (HIGH BAR)

- FIRST SET 9 REPS

- SECOND SET 8 REPS

WALKING LUNGES (GLUTE FOCUSED, BARBELL)

- FIRST SET 24 REPS

- SECOND SET 24 REPS

LEG PRESS

- FIRST SET 16 REPS

- SECOND SET 13 REPS

BODYWEIGHT SQUATS

- 10 REPS

DO COOL-DOWNS!

- USE POOL IF NOBODY IS AROUND!

HOW DO YOU
DELETE
DELETE!
DAMN IT DAMN IT!
IGNORE THIS!

[ Shizuka is still getting used to the network, now her schemes of building a bakery is made public. She sits in panic alone in her Revelation bedroom. Oh no. She made an ass of herself. Now she's gonna be the butt of every joke. She can never put this behind her. ]