𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚡 𝙽𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔

[ What else is a sorcerer-slash-king-of-curses supposed to do in the late hours of the evening than browse the internet out of boredom? Or try to.

Emphasis on "try." ]

Courtesans
Courtesans in Neo-Tokyo metropolitan area

[ ...wait, what's going on?

Why aren't any of his search terms producing results? They're just sitting there when he hits "send?" This search engine is terrible. Who designed this?

Maybe he should use more exact terms. Is he using criteria that are too broad? ]

Courtesans that know how to play shogi
Courtesans that know how to play shogi near me

[ Still nothing.

Alright this is starting to piss him off... ]

I have a thought experiment for you all! Something to spark the brain juices

There are two magic bags

One bag will produce any sandwich you want, anytime you want

The other will produce any burrito you want, anytime you want

You may choose one

If you choose the sandwich bag, you can never have a burrito again. If you choose the burrito bag, you can never have a sandwich again.

Which do you choose?


(For some extra help, fam. Things to consider!)

Are hotdogs sandwiches? Is an open-faced sandwich "a sandwich"? Is an eggroll a burrito? Which bag do quesadillas come out of? What's a veggie wrap?

Also, could you make the argument that a pizza an open-faced sandwich?

[Since the whole party about two weeks ago, there has been something on this turtle's mind. But it's only now that he is actually putting his mind to it... By searching certain things.

Of course, he's lucky enough to have it happen when one of the current glitches are acting up.]

How to impress a girl.
How to have conversations with someone you like?
Dating advice for teens.
Ways to see if a girl likes you back.
What do foxes like?
How to impress kitsune?
What is "kitsune udon"?
Why is inari a food and a "god"?
Tofu recipes
Why is tofu so gross looking?
Gifts for ships?

[ It starts suddenly, a POV-shot in a Kyoto Base room, focusing on a troupe of jewel-bright hummingbirds staring out at the viewer from their flowerpot-nest suspended from the ceiling by strings. ]

Today is an important day.

[ That seems to be Choso’s voice, delivering news unto this tiny flock of an audience. A big finger wiggles into the shot to poke a brightly green bird-drone on the beak. It chirps in annoyance as the shot swings wide and away.

Look. Behold: pink-headed Itadori Yuji, tying his shoes, minding his own business and blissfully unaware of the day’s reveal. ]

It is Yuji’s birthday today.

[ A pair of hands lift into view and begin to clap, slow and somber. ]

Happy 17th, Yuji. Congratulations. Good work. Excellent job.