super boomer level accidental text @gourmand | May 7th

[hachikai]

[ What else is a sorcerer-slash-king-of-curses supposed to do in the late hours of the evening than browse the internet out of boredom? Or try to.

Emphasis on "try." ]

Courtesans
Courtesans in Neo-Tokyo metropolitan area

[ ...wait, what's going on?

Why aren't any of his search terms producing results? They're just sitting there when he hits "send?" This search engine is terrible. Who designed this?

Maybe he should use more exact terms. Is he using criteria that are too broad? ]

Courtesans that know how to play shogi
Courtesans that know how to play shogi near me

[ Still nothing.

Alright this is starting to piss him off... ]

Comments

@Bootyyyshaker9000, text

[soft_shelled]

This is very 2010's core.

[Very HOT MOMS IN YOUR AREA-esque.]

[hachikai]

[ Hello??? Who is this? Why is there someone else in the gongle engine?? ]

What does that mean?

@BAD DADDY

[zauneyete]

Just go to the closest brothel and ask instead of annoying us with this.

[hachikai]

I wish I could be surprised you lot can't tell the difference between a courtesan and a prostitute.

@BIG RICO

[judgementcrime]

[Clearly somebody with distinguished taste.]

Try looking for "big booby redheads" instead. You might get more results.

LMAO RICO NO

[hachikai]

Is that similar to the "big titty goth girls" that keep popping up on every physical ad in this city?

text, @risk

[kubricks]

[...buddy...]

I think your search might be having some technical difficulties.

[hachikai]

[ yes makima hello ]

It seems so. My search has garnered the unwarranted opinions of the peanut gallery.

@KENSUKE

[vorous]

_{[ oh no ]}

You’re using the internet wrong.

_{[ his WELL ACTUALLY has gotten worse, sorry.. ]}

It’s okay. I did too at first. Can I help you?

[hachikai]

[ et tu brute? ]

Help me how?

@Destiny

[intertwinedfates]

[Oh ho~ Somebody with some class! Leave it to him! He's got a bit of knowledge on this matter! ?????]

try searching for "Shimabara Tayuu". granted it's been over 250 years from the time I'm from, but Shimabara was once known for their entertainers

[hachikai]

[ oh thank GOD (pun intended), someone with an actually helpful answer! He might have to bring the godling an offering for this. ]

I'll have to give it a look.

What do you want in exchange for such information?

@vessel

[eyescar]

lol

[hachikai]

Who is this again?

[ He knows damn well ]

@Gisei

[harboredfeelings]

Just when I thought you couldn't be any more distasteful.

[hachikai]

You don't approve?

@ soba

[gorb]

Can you even afford that?

[hachikai]

So kind of you to care for the well-being of my purse.

@MONSTER

[copy]

[ ...

Just gonna be passive-aggressively helpful and find and embed a video tutorial on how to google things properly. No one needed to see this, you Heian boomer. Ugh. ]

[hachikai]

🖕👐👍

[ Who taught him how to do emojis? ]

@CURSE

[gimu]

play shogi online

[hachikai]

Not warm enough.

@Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight

[blastedass]

"courtesans who can kick my ancient ass at shogi near me"

[hachikai]

[ Gee he wonders who this is- ]

So even you make these mistakes. Good to know.

text; @thepaleelf

[sanguivorous]

I won't mock you for you mistake, as plenty have already done so.

But you're seeking a courtesan just to play a game with them? Are you truly that lonely?

[hachikai]

Are you a simpleton?

Of course that's not the only requisite.

@rock hard

[golmi]

Why not just ask someone to play like a normal person?

[hachikai]

Do you not know what a courtesan is?

@AUO

[gilgamess]

[ At least it's not another freakout about someone's significant other disappearing. Gilgamesh does not have emotions to even be dealing with all these people and their feelings. ]

You might try looking into the rifts. It does seem a good some people have gone there, of late.

[hachikai]

[ okay this is actually a response he can laugh at thank you gil ]

At the very least, the creatures in the rifts might prove a decent sparring match.