TEXT | @Punisher

[eyeofmyass]

[ooc warning: Religious tones, catholic terminology, all of which will probably be very inaccurate. ]

So, back home I was something of a priest, and I was thinking of offering my priestly services of confessions to those who are in need. Some of you might be asking whats a confession, or why should I bother? Well, let me tell ya! A confession is you admitting your sins and receiving penance and absolution. All that shit that’s bothering you? That bad thing you did? Or that good thing you didn’t do? Think of it as a ‘clean slate.’

And you don’t have to be religious. I think everybody deserves to get it all off their chest, ya know? Don’t need absolution? No problem, but how about an impartial, unbiased soul to unburden to? Feel guilty and need a way to feel better? I can suggest penance for that.

All I ask for in return is a donation. Not bad, right? All confessions stay in the confession booth, or inbox, however you feel comfortable doing it. I’m not here to share your secrets or judge. Anonymous is fine, just show proof that you donated.

C’mon, it’ll make ya feel good!

Amen.

Comments

[photosympathies]

i'm a great liar!

( Nope. )

does the punishment really fit the crime??

[eyeofmyass]

why is this something you even wanna argue about???

scared im gonna hurt ya?

[photosympathies]

i just don't want you to trip and hurt yourself!!

[eyeofmyass]

my balance is as good as yours blondie.

[Despite all his stumbling and falling backwards, it's as much an act as Vash's is.]

[photosympathies]

you'd kick me?
your very good friend?

[eyeofmyass]

come find out.

you still owe me too much, youre not getting any confessions for free.

[photosympathies]

i don't know the conversion for double-dollars to kryptos, wolfwood!

[eyeofmyass]

[...oh. neither does he. But anything's gotta be better than zero, right?]

relax spikey. youre already roped into helping me so im gonna give you a pass.

[photosympathies]

of course i'm helping you!
i found a guy who needs some deliveries done quick, offered to pay me double, so we can have that for the kids.
and i was talking to one of the women at a grocery store the other day and they said if we didn't mind older stock they could probably help us out a little.

[eyeofmyass]

you just go full speed into things, dont ya?

[i.e. he appreciates your efforts.]

[photosympathies]

it's important to you.
and it's important in general.
also, i know a doctor. if any of them ever get sick we can get her. she's been really nice to me, so she'll be really good with kids.

[eyeofmyass]

that's great.

[There's a but that he's itching to add here, because he can see it. Vash getting in too deep too fast. And his heart will follow. And then if something happens, which is pretty damn likely he'll have a heartbroken Vash to deal with.]

some kids might be too proud for the help. but never known a hungry one to say no for food. lets start there.

[photosympathies]

food first, got it.
speaking of, do u wanna get dinner together?
we could go to the cafeteria, or we could go out.

[eyeofmyass]

you paying?

[photosympathies]

sure!
you haven't even been paid for a mission yet, of course i'm paying.

[eyeofmyass]

buyer gets to pick location. I'm in the garden, find me when youre ready.

[photosympathies]

pizza.
u want me to bring it with or come get u first?

[eyeofmyass]

bring it here.

[photosympathies]

any preferences?

[eyeofmyass]

meat. you know me im not exactly picky.

[photosympathies]

wanna try something spicy this time?

[eyeofmyass]

dealers choice. just hurry it up.

[photosympathies]

yeah yeah.
i'm on my way.
go back to confession, father.

[eyeofmyass]

[wow. new kink unlocked??? or maybe it's just Vash.]

shuddup.