TEXT | @Punisher

[eyeofmyass]

[ooc warning: Religious tones, catholic terminology, all of which will probably be very inaccurate. ]

So, back home I was something of a priest, and I was thinking of offering my priestly services of confessions to those who are in need. Some of you might be asking whats a confession, or why should I bother? Well, let me tell ya! A confession is you admitting your sins and receiving penance and absolution. All that shit that’s bothering you? That bad thing you did? Or that good thing you didn’t do? Think of it as a ‘clean slate.’

And you don’t have to be religious. I think everybody deserves to get it all off their chest, ya know? Don’t need absolution? No problem, but how about an impartial, unbiased soul to unburden to? Feel guilty and need a way to feel better? I can suggest penance for that.

All I ask for in return is a donation. Not bad, right? All confessions stay in the confession booth, or inbox, however you feel comfortable doing it. I’m not here to share your secrets or judge. Anonymous is fine, just show proof that you donated.

C’mon, it’ll make ya feel good!

Amen.

Comments

[newphew]

[ these responses are very slow because hunter is basically a grandpa at texting but this one takes a particularly long time to come back ]

And what are you gonna do with the donation money? how is confessing. to a stranger supposed to help anyone feel better anyway?

[eyeofmyass]

[A+ for effort.]

youre kinda nosey aren't ya?

[He has a problem keeping important things to him close to his chest because reasons. It's a hard habit to break.]

I noticed a bunch of homeless kids running around the city so I'm trying to help them.

well for people who believe in the big guy repenting for your sins is kinda a big part of into getting through the pearly gates. for everyone else, maybe they feel lighter sharing the weight of whatever guilt is dragging them down. if you're curious why don't you try it?

[newphew]

[ he is extremely nosy, thanks ]

Someone has to make sure peoplearen't being taken advantage of because they feel guilty about things

[ ok hunter ]

fine. whereAre you? you can show me where you found these kids too,.

[eyeofmyass]

[hdu call him out. but it's for the children!!!]

c'mon now, I didn't even set a rate! and it's not taking advantage if they feel better after.

[demanding little shit.]

right now I'm smoking in the garden.

they're not animals. not sure they're up for being show-and-tell. but i'll take you on an eye opening walk if you want. only if you're gonna help though.

[newphew]

[ wait till wolfwood sees it's the same scrappy kid he fought kaiju in vr with. who, frankly, would fit right in with these street children ]

of course I am! Whatdo you take me for?

DOn't smoke in the garden!I'll be right there.

[eyeofmyass]

why not?

[Serious question.]

[newphew]

ItLL hurt the plants

[ would you like to make this an action thread? ]

[eyeofmyass]

oh shit. alright I'm putting it out.

[Absolutely. come look at the sad shape of orphanages with him.]

➡️ action!

[newphew]

[ after a bit, the scrappy teen pokes his head into the garden -- he's got a few boxes of what looks like food. not in great shape, he looks just about as exhausted and rundown as last time! yay. ]

[ hunter himself is not at all picky when it comes to food, so it's kind of a mish-mash of ration bars, fruits, vegetables, meats -- some fraction of it is appetizing. a red bird is on his shoulder ]

... Oh. It's you.

[ instead of saying hello, he is just rude ]

You're a priest?

[eyeofmyass]

[He's just gonna grin from his perch underneath a tree. Not shaken at all by that unenthusiastic greeting.]

Hey, it's bird boy.

[An arched brow at the boxes he's lugging around.]

So you really did come to help.

[Then he'll just push himself up to his feet. He takes a moment to stretch before approaching him and peeking his head over the boxes.]

Did you steal it?

[newphew]

Hunter.

[ hunter corrects irritably. flapjack, the bird, tweets hello!! it's a good thing wolfwood isn't phased by cranky rude kids, because hunter's moodiness is likely not going to improve. the bird is perfectly cheerful, though ]

I'm a man of my word. [ yes, clearly a man. he continues to look offended as he's accused of stealing. how dare ]

I bought these. And they're not for you, they're for the kids you were talking about.

[eyeofmyass]

[He likes the bird. He actually likes the kid too. Hell, how can he not like anybody who manages to scrap together a bunch of food for the orphans? He doesn't like names though. Hunter can keep wasting his breath, though.

His brow arches when he learns that Hunter has spent his own credits on the food. He can count the selfless people he knows on one-maybe two fingers, so it's a rare thing indeed to see someone simply offer up their own time and resources.

His grin only brightens and he reaches out to pat the kid on the head and maybe ruffle that mop of hair.]

You're alright, kid.

[The hand's gone before it can be mauled or attacked.]

Alright, lets head that way then. You want help with that or you scared I'm gonna run off with it?

[newphew]

[ he will definitely keep wasting his breath ]

[ with his hands full, hunter couldn't swipe at wolfwood even if he wanted to.... but the pat and ruffle catches him more offguard than anything. when wolfwood's hand initially comes for his head, he braces himself like he's expecting to be struck (a completely normal reaction, no red flags here!), but the pat and ruffle is very quick, and he's left seeming more confused than anything ]

I'm not just doing this because of your whole... confession thing. I still think it's suspicious.

[ but there's no real heat behind it, it's grumbled out. ]

... You can take a few boxes.

[ feel honored.... ]

[eyeofmyass]

[Well, damn, that sure is a flinch, huh? He could take some educated guesses on the why of it all, but for now he doesn't bring attention to it. Instead he'll just reach over and grab a couple boxes in his hand and tuck it under his arm like it's weightless.]

Nothing wrong with being suspicious. It's a defense mechanism, and a good one. And maybe it's all a load of bullshit, or maybe it's something people really do benefit from. Who are we to tell 'em what to believe.

[And that's all he's going to say on that matter. Just because he doesn't believe in gods doesn't mean other people don't get some kind of hope from it. And he's got no interest in crushing people's hope.]

Ya know...can't say I know too many generous people, but even then, I'm not sure they would have shown up so fast with so much. Makes me wonder if this ain't a little more personal for you.

[A pause.] It is for me. I was an orphan, too.

[newphew]

[ hunter is a little surprised to be praised, even though he's tempted to make a sassy comment about wolfwood being the one going for all of this confession stuff in the first place. but... he lets him take a few boxes, and trudges along beside him, a couple of steps behind so wolfwood can lead. rather than being sassy, he opts to ask: ]

How did you get into this whole... priesthood thing anyway? [ hunter's still deciding he wants to give confession a try. his ears flush a little red at being called generous ]

... It's not like that. [ he's averting his eyes, though, and mumbling -- right up until wolfwood says he's an orphan. at that point, hunter looks up at him ]

You were?

[ it makes sense ]

[eyeofmyass]

[He smirks when that sideways stare suddenly turns his way. Like some sort of confirmation he's not gonna get verbally from the kid himself.

Out the doors of the garden, and he makes a beeline towards the base exit.]

Mhmm. Two kinda go hand in hand, actually. It was the church that adopted me, trained me, and gave me my titles. [And a whole lot of dark shit in between, but that's not a story for kids. Or for anyone, really.]

So it's been a while, but I still liked to check in on all the kids when I could. Think I left a part of myself there.

[newphew]

[ wolfwood is in good company when it comes to dark shit.... something he may find out, if hunter actually opens up a little. which, at this rate, he might, because wolfwood's being quite forthcoming with this information. it's softening him up a little.... it's frankly kind of humbling to hear this kind of thing. that he was an orphan raised by the church, taken in by them ]

If they raised you... it's understandable.

[ flapjack circles above both their heads, chirping in birdsong. hunter thinks briefly about the emperor's coven. even if he could return without being killed... he considers briefly if he misses it the same way this man seems to miss his church. ]

[ ... ]

Why don't you live there anymore? Is it just because you're here?

[eyeofmyass]

[He's got a lot to be ashamed for, but being an orphan was never a part of that. He doesn't know when he was dumped there, or what happened to the people that made him, but it's given him a purpose and a reason to cling to his humanity. But that's just about as forthcoming as he gets.]

Mhmm, makes future paths pretty limited.

[His gaze shifts from the bird above to the contemplative boy at his side before he shrugs.]

The orphanage? I can't live there, but its always on my mind. Just trying to keep it safe from a distance is about all I can offer it. If things had worked out, I had planned to go back and take care of the place and the kids there and retire from the church. Didn't exactly play out that way though, so not sure what awaits if I make it back.

Guess it's easy to fall back into some old habits here.

[They approach the doors and Wolfwood opens one with his shoulder and props it open for Hunter to walk through first.]

You got a place to go back to?

[newphew]

[ in theory, lilith will send everyone back once they're done with them... whether that means as failures (in hunter's mind, anyway) or because there's no more missions to complete, hunter doesn't know. ]

[ but it sounds like there's something keeping this man from going back the orphanage anyway, though hunter isn't quite sure ]

If what had worked out?

[ he can't help but ask, because he's getting a bit invested in this now. hunter goes through the door first, but slows his pace once he's through so wolfwood can take the lead. ]

[ at the question he just.... shakes his head. flapjack stops flying momentarily to land on hunter's shoulder and chirps something that seems encouraging at the boy ]

[eyeofmyass]

[He casually takes the lead, though he does note the purposefulness in which Hunter makes sure he's in front. Could be nothing, could be a few things. As an assassin, having his back to anybody makes him tense. But he still finds himself lagging a step or two behind even his friends, like if they're out of sight they might just disappear in smoke.

It doesn't stop him from noting that headshake though, and he only 'humphs' in response. He could ask questions, but if the kid isn't even capable of answering that one aloud, he's probably not ready to talk yet.

Which leaves them on the subject of him. Not where he'd prefer to be, but it's fine. Still, he doesn't want to put any weight on the kid, so he's not sure exactly how to phrase things.]

Nah. It's not worth getting into. But I wasn't sure if my world was gonna survive the big man's wrath, so I made a deal to keep the orphanage out of the ensuing chaos. But the deal I made might not be worth a damn when the ones I made it with are dead. Got pulled here before I got to see how it played out. So, guess I'm just hoping those who are left don't go after the orphanage just to hurt me.

Least I can focus on the kids here in the meantime.

[newphew]

[ awfully vague! hunter's left to wonder who the "big man" is from context -- the god he was talking about? that makes sense. if the titan ever woke and was angry, he could decimate the majority of the isles in one fell swoop. but making a deal with titan? is that a thing in his world? that much hunter can't wrap his head around ]

Your god.... is planning to wipe out people on your world? Am I hearing that right? And you have enemies that might go after your old home?

[ that's rough, buddy. ]

[ hunter keeps a step or two behind him, just letting him lead, though his eyes are flicking about for any signs of.... anything, as they walk closer to the city. hyper-vigilant. normal teenage behavior, clearly ]

[eyeofmyass]

[Sometimes his vagueness works in his favor. It means he doesn't have to lie. He's not a fan of it, and honestly, he's probably not all that good at it. But who the hell practices being a shitty human?

He sighs, shrugs, and then slows down a step until he's almost side by side with Hunter. Kid looks tense, like something might pop out of the shadows at any moment. And while he's done some exploring and hasn't found much threatening, he can't say it's without its dangers when he hasn't been here long. But he can help flank the kid if it makes him feel better.]

Eh, guess that's not entirely accurate. He claims to be a god, even built a whole religion around himself, but he's powerful enough to be one so whose to argue with him. So less god, more...plant. [And he makes a vague hand gesture because plants are not the same thing here, and he's sure that description doesn't help things at all.]

Not like-um-[He'd point at a plant, but honestly, the city is pretty damn artifical.] Not like the ones in that damn maze! at that party! but human looking. Whatever.

[See. This is why he does vague.]

Nothing I can do about any of that here. Hey, so did you want to take these to the orphanage or pass 'em out to the kids on the streets?

[newphew]

[ tense is his natural state of being, to be honest. if he wasn't tense, it'd be weird! especially with his hands full. flapjack, on the other hand, is just chilling on his shoulder. hunter glances wolfwood's way when he flanks him but doesn't seem particularly comforted (sorry, bud), but hey.... it's the thought that counts right? ]

[ hunter scoffs at the words "claims to be a god", but otherwise is just listening. ]

[ weirdly enough, the more wolfwood talks, the wider hunter's eyes go. he gets.... a bit pale, by the end. though he's not sure what maze wolfwood's talking about, since he skipped out on the gala like a loser ]

So he's..... a plant, but he looks human?

[ it takes him a second to acknowledge the second question, because he's still apparently a bit shooketh from the plant thing ]

Uh.... Orphanage.

[eyeofmyass]

[See, this is what happens when he gets less vague. He short-circuits brains. And that's the last thing he wants to do to some kid.]

Hey, don't worry about it. He's not here, so you're safe. And they're not all bad. My...my friend is a plant and he's probably a better person than any human I know. In fact, most of the plants back home were helpful. Hell, we literally couldn't have survived without them.

[He flashes the kid a reassuring smile before taking a right turn at the next intersection, leading Hunter into a more damaged section of the city. There's a couple of orphanages he's found, but none of it is what he'd call nice. Especially when the facilities are all manned by damned robots.

None of it is surprising though. Without the means to help, it's easier just to hide the kids. Out of sight, out of mind, after all.]

[newphew]

[ wolfwood calling vash his friend 🥺 ]

[ for hunter's part, it doesn't seem like he's afraid of the possibility of being hurt by a plant -- just the concept seems to resonate with him in not a great way ]

How do they help?

[ unfortunately for wolfwood he is going to be stuck answering all these questions forever now ]

[ hunter seems to be taking note of where they are and how to get there -- probably planning to come back on his own. it's no surprise to hunter either that the the area is damaged. ]