TEXT | @Punisher

[eyeofmyass]

[ooc warning: Religious tones, catholic terminology, all of which will probably be very inaccurate. ]

So, back home I was something of a priest, and I was thinking of offering my priestly services of confessions to those who are in need. Some of you might be asking whats a confession, or why should I bother? Well, let me tell ya! A confession is you admitting your sins and receiving penance and absolution. All that shit that’s bothering you? That bad thing you did? Or that good thing you didn’t do? Think of it as a ‘clean slate.’

And you don’t have to be religious. I think everybody deserves to get it all off their chest, ya know? Don’t need absolution? No problem, but how about an impartial, unbiased soul to unburden to? Feel guilty and need a way to feel better? I can suggest penance for that.

All I ask for in return is a donation. Not bad, right? All confessions stay in the confession booth, or inbox, however you feel comfortable doing it. I’m not here to share your secrets or judge. Anonymous is fine, just show proof that you donated.

C’mon, it’ll make ya feel good!

Amen.

Comments

[queenofkur]

[ She would have screamed if cigarettes had been the real answer. ]

You could ask for donations instead of using your sacred duties as a means to get money. Many would be happy to give money to help children in need. I know I would.

[eyeofmyass]

[it was debated for a moment >D]

that so? in my experience people don't give away anything without expecting to get something back. and I'm not putting that burden on the kids.

[queenofkur]

This is a common experience. But it doesn't have to be the only one.

People here are generous. If you but ask, you will see money flowing towards helping those orphans.

[ And she'll make sure none of it goes towards smoking. ]

[eyeofmyass]

shame I gotta ask at all in that case. if people are that generous they'd have helped em already, right?

[Sounds like someone just volunteered to play Treasury. application accepted.]

[queenofkur]

The capabilities of a single individual are limited. Most of us have taken on a duty, but taking on too many would divide our attention to the point of ineffectiveness. Hence why you should ask for money: so we can contribute and help you, without reducing the effectiveness of our own responsibilities.

[ He'll hear of her if a single cent is missing. ]

[eyeofmyass]

can't find anything to argue about with you there.

[Still. Just asking people for things is not...something he's ever done or actually even comfortable doing.]

you seem to have a pulse on this place. i'm sure you know plenty of people to ask for money. how bout it? and I'll be a good boy and not charge for confessionals.

[queenofkur]

Heh?

Wait, I cannot do that. I have already taken on my own duties, and would struggle to remain efficient should I take on more! Why don't you make another post on the network with a request for funds? I will give my public approval and encourage people to donate.

[ Look she's panicking at the mere thought, she'll just collapse from anxiety if she does it herself. ]

[eyeofmyass]

sounds like excuses to me.

if i go doing that people are just gonna doubt me even more.

just mix it in to conversations. you said you know people that would help, so shouldn't be too much effort to just ask them when you seem them, right?

[that's fine, he'll just catch her when she faints???]

[queenofkur]

V
Very well then.

Though if the results are lacking, this will be your own fault.

[eyeofmyass]

I've got total faith in you.