synnet | TEXT | @Punisher

[ooc warning: Religious tones, catholic terminology, all of which will probably be very inaccurate. ]

So, back home I was something of a priest, and I was thinking of offering my priestly services of confessions to those who are in need. Some of you might be asking whats a confession, or why should I bother? Well, let me tell ya! A confession is you admitting your sins and receiving penance and absolution. All that shit that’s bothering you? That bad thing you did? Or that good thing you didn’t do? Think of it as a ‘clean slate.’

And you don’t have to be religious. I think everybody deserves to get it all off their chest, ya know? Don’t need absolution? No problem, but how about an impartial, unbiased soul to unburden to? Feel guilty and need a way to feel better? I can suggest penance for that.

All I ask for in return is a donation. Not bad, right? All confessions stay in the confession booth, or inbox, however you feel comfortable doing it. I’m not here to share your secrets or judge. Anonymous is fine, just show proof that you donated.

C’mon, it’ll make ya feel good!

Amen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[H-Happy... Well, he's not wrong??]

Damn. [Wait, can you curse when trying to suck up to the head honcho of western religion? Oh well.] But hey, that works! I don't mind sending some of my hard earned cash your way for a namedrop and to lend a hand. You helpin' out a charity or something?

[If cursing is wrong this fake priest doesn't wanna be right.]

can do! what was your name again?

[See, this is why he prefers his nicknames.]

something like that. trying to help out the local orphans.

[They can go to hell together, in that case.]

Delivery God of Fortune, Yato!

[They are pretty handy when you don't know someone's name. Though Yato would prefer something a little more dignified...]

Oh, good cause! Maybe I could knit them some clothes for the coming months. Think that'd be useful?

Delivery god? youre kinda bottom rung aintcha?

[Never dignified, sorry. Not clever either.]

socks. [coming from someone who still has never worn any, but he knows they would have been appreciated growing up.] what happens in the coming months?

Hey! I'll have you know I chose the title myself! All it means is that instead of having to come to a shrine to have your prayers heard, I come to you!

[Mainly... because... he doesn't have a full-fledged shrine, but still.....]

Can do. [There's a pause though as he has to wonder if his leg isn't being pulled. ...no, probably not.] Well, unless things have changed a lot, it's gonna get a hell of a lot colder. Might even snow at some point.

alright. dont pop a blood vessel.

what's snow?

[He comes from a pathetic planet with no seasons, no rain, and definitely no snow.]

I'm not!

[He could fuss more, but the question leaves him a little dumbfounded. Stands to reason that there'd be people from worlds unlike Earth, but it's still wild to think about.]

Snow's frozen water that falls from the sky like rain in the colder months. It's white and soft and can be a lot of fun when you get several inches of it. Hopefully we'll get some this year so you'll be able to experience it for yourself.

damn it, the more i hear about this place the more i realize my home is shit.

so you make clothes that cover more skin for that kind of weather? thatd probably be pretty helpful for them. can you do blankets?

It does sound kinda lackluster. Do you guys have spring at least? The flowers that bloom at that time are amazing!

Exactly. I can do blankets and hats and sweaters, along with gloves and socks! All I need are the materials. Or access to the sheep to make my own.

flowers. the word sounds kinda familiar, but pretty sure we dont have anything like that here either.

might be a problem. dont have the funds for materials yet. but will people just let you shave their sheep?

Seriously?! No 🌸 or 🌹 or even 🌻?? We gotta take you out to a garden at some point. Get you in touch with nature.

Well, I do have some of my own funds I could use. As for shaving their sheep, dunno! Depends on if they need the wool. I might be able to buy it wholesale and spin it myself though.

oh. that's what these colorful things are? just found the garden today while looking for a spot to smoke.

glad you got a plan. when you get it done why don't you join me taking it to them? might help get your name spread a little more.

Sure are! Aren't they wonderful? Some of them smell nice, and there's hundreds of thousands of varieties.

Oh, sounds like a good idea. Besides, it'll be nice to see how well everything is received and get some feedback on stuff like the colors and styles.

you just go around sniffing them?

oh I'm sure they'll give you their opinions. but if they're mean don't take it to heart. its just habit to play it close to the heart, they'll appreciate it.

Now and then. Plus when there's groves of them, you can't help but be taken in by the smell.

Heh, yeah. Kids can be pretty biting when they want to be, huh? So long as they get plenty of use out of everything, that's what matters.

[delayed. because he might be tentatively sniffing flowers, not sure if this is a gd prank or real advice.]

i guess.

glad I can count on you, happy.

[Yato likes to tease, but in this case he's being genuine at least?]

No problem. Always glad to lend a hand.

["Happy", huh... This is his name now, it seems.]

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