video | @typhoon

[photosympathies]

I need advice!

( Hello network, here's your friendly neighbourhood Stampede about to fully launch into something with no forewarning and no introductions. It's how he makes friends ... and also enemies, don't worry. ) So, we have to get jobs, right? But I'm not exactly sure what I'd be good at. I usually just do whatever people need around the towns I'm visiting, which means I know a little of most things. But I figured this place was new and people might be a little more cautious about that. So I made flyers!

( In one hand - metal, blue sometimes sea green - Vash holds up a stack of leaflets. )

Only when I was trying to give them out I got a lot of dirty looks so can someone tell me what I've done wrong! I really want to be useful while I'm here.

( Turning the flyer around so that his ( unfortunate ) captive audience can see. The design is obviously home made, and probably in a rush. On the paper it proudly proclaims

VASH THE STAMPEDE
RENT BOY
WILL DO WHATEVER YOU NEED
COST: ???
Below that is a crude drawing of the man himself - a stick figure with a triangle body ( his coat, sadly missing ) and a mass of spiky hair. It has a crude beaming smile on the circle of a face. )

Is it the drawing? I could have done better I guess, but I was in a hurry. ( A pause, a slow dawning realisation. ) Aw, shoot. It's the name, right? I didn't use my civilian name! Crap, that's probably a no-no.

( Nothing else could be the issue.

... Right? )

Comments

vash yes.

[photosympathies]

Well, I'm really good with my hands! And I've never had any complaints about not putting my back into it, so it's whatever the customer wants, naturally! I'm a people pleaser!

( Even if some people think that's not something to be proud of! )

[failedsafe]

You should definitely mention those two things. Absolutely.

[Speaking of hands.]

That arm is pretty cool, though. Who made it?

[photosympathies]

Oh! Brad, a scientist from Home. He's really good, I'm lucky that they took me to him when I lost my real one.

[failedsafe]

Yeah, that engineering fucks. What's the psi on it?

[photosympathies]

( ... )

The what now? I'm not really the technical guy.

[failedsafe]

Nah, don't sweat it. What can you squeeze and how hard with that bad boy?

[photosympathies]

Oh! Right, that. A lot? I mean I haven't really tested it because I don't enjoy structural damage when I can help it. But I've accidentally shoved in a fair few car doors in my time! But I'm also pretty strong without it so I can't tell you if it's the hand or me?

[failedsafe]

Sounds like it could be both, either independently or in tandem. Wouldn't know, though that sorta thing is beyond me, but that's neat.

Not even a little structural damage? As a treat?

[photosympathies]

I mean, if we found a scrapyard, maybe? It did take me a while to get used to it when they first put it on. I was so scared of touching anything in case I broke something. But I'm better with it now!

[failedsafe]

How are you so soft?

[She doesn't sound mocking but like a bit jokingly bewildered.]

[photosympathies]

( He makes a small noise, a little ha of sound. )

Is that a bad thing?

[failedsafe]

Can be if you're too soft. People will mislead, lie, use and abuse you if you let them, y'know? Everything in moderation and all that.

[She waves a hand dismissively.]

[photosympathies]

It's funny how many people have told me that since I got here, but really I can take care of myself. I'm a lot sturdier than I look.

( He is also a doormat. )

[failedsafe]

It's not physical softness, more the earnest people-pleasing. If I asked you for help and really needed it, would you do it?

[photosympathies]

Well, yeah!

You'd need help, so why shouldn't I help you out?

[failedsafe]

'Kay, I would like you to help me commit a ton of murders. I am talking so serial we end up with royalties.

[photosympathies]

( ... )

Okay, I'll do anything but that. ( A nervous, helpless laugh. ) You don't actually need people killed, right? Because that would be pretty bad.

[failedsafe]

Nah. [A beat.] But I am still figuring my way around so anything can happen.

Point is, be more discerning. You might be strong enough to get yourself out of trouble, but save yourself the hurt in the first place. [...] Or don't, I guess. Maybe trouble is your fetish, I'm not one to judge.

[photosympathies]

Fetish?

( High and alarmed. )

No, it's not! I don't have any!