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[photosympathies]

I need advice!

( Hello network, here's your friendly neighbourhood Stampede about to fully launch into something with no forewarning and no introductions. It's how he makes friends ... and also enemies, don't worry. ) So, we have to get jobs, right? But I'm not exactly sure what I'd be good at. I usually just do whatever people need around the towns I'm visiting, which means I know a little of most things. But I figured this place was new and people might be a little more cautious about that. So I made flyers!

( In one hand - metal, blue sometimes sea green - Vash holds up a stack of leaflets. )

Only when I was trying to give them out I got a lot of dirty looks so can someone tell me what I've done wrong! I really want to be useful while I'm here.

( Turning the flyer around so that his ( unfortunate ) captive audience can see. The design is obviously home made, and probably in a rush. On the paper it proudly proclaims

VASH THE STAMPEDE
RENT BOY
WILL DO WHATEVER YOU NEED
COST: ???
Below that is a crude drawing of the man himself - a stick figure with a triangle body ( his coat, sadly missing ) and a mass of spiky hair. It has a crude beaming smile on the circle of a face. )

Is it the drawing? I could have done better I guess, but I was in a hurry. ( A pause, a slow dawning realisation. ) Aw, shoot. It's the name, right? I didn't use my civilian name! Crap, that's probably a no-no.

( Nothing else could be the issue.

... Right? )

Comments

[fursuit]

[ ...There is a moment before Vash replies again that Tezcatlipoca just has the thought of "ah, this guy is a moron", but at least he saves it by clarifying that it's a joke. Considering how this conversation started, he would believe it, unfortunately. ]

well, can't say I am either. technically, anyways.

[ It's a weird way to put it, but hey. His days of being able to visit mortals freely were well before cities as large as this. ]

flyers sure as shit on the way to do it, though. you got a name, right? what was that person doing? I just went and nosed around till I found the bar my profile mentioned and bam, job

[photosympathies]

( Don't worry, buddy. He is a moron. )

the names come with jobs???
they didn't give mine one!!!

( Maybe LILITH just Knew. )

anyway, i figured odd jobs?
it's what i do back home.
well, it's what i do when nobody needs a guy with a gun.

[fursuit]

huh. mine did. maybe your name was just a bum?

[ Or, yeah, it's funnier to watch Vash struggle... But where Tezcatlipoca was probably going to steer towards being helpful (even while simultaneously being a jerk about it), Vash is spared from that temporarily. He said the magic word. ]

but you're that kind of jack of all trades. cool. what kind of guns do you use?

[ "send pics" was typed out, but then deleted, since he realizes that he probably doesn't have them... ]

[photosympathies]

( Don't worry, he's missing his coat and his glasses but do you know what he does have --. )

just the one, usually.
a revolver.
but i know how to use others, i just prefer mine.
it's done me good through the years!

[fursuit]

I can respect having an ol' reliable. revolver's an interesting choice, though! stylish, but old-fashioned, at least from my pov. got a walther p38 myself. modded to shit, but still a p38.

is jack of all trades just code for desperado? haha

[ He's joking, because with this intro... surely not... there's no way this guy is an outlaw... But using a revolver definitely makes him think of cowboys and the like. ]

anyways send a pic. I love guns, so want to see what kind of style we're talking for a revolver

google tells me it's a revolver but if it's not i'm pretending it is

[photosympathies]

oh sure, hang on!!!

( He gets a picture, the gun carefully resting on the ground. It looks well-worn, and old. )

it's had some work done to it but not a lot. i prefer to keep it like it was when i got it.

( ✨ trauma. ✨ )

[fursuit]

woah... not what I was expecting, but it looks cool. huge. the kickback on that thing's gotta be crazy!

looks like it's a good companion, though. I can tell it's seen some shit.

so, you showed me yours, I'll show you mine, rent boy.

[ i'm so sorry he's like this,

But, similarly, Vash will get a picture as well! It's not quite as fast, since he has to manifest it rather than simply having it on hand, but it's much more odd looking, if only because of all the shit attached to it that certainly makes no sense without further explanation. ]

[photosympathies]

it can be! if u don't know how to handle it that is.
but ok maybe u do.
that thing looks wicked???
where does it shoot from??
what does it shoot??
is the top part actually an axe???

[fursuit]

[ finally, someone that appreciates his gun rather than just be like "why is it like that" ]

well, sounds like we should find a shooting range sometime. I love trying out new weapons, and guns especially. personal fav.

but yeah, it doubles as a hatchet! gotta be ready for anything on a battlefield.

[ it's, uh, definitely not that his aim is shit. but he sends another picture, this time with his hand holding the odd protrusion under the barrel, which makes what the various parts are for a little clearer. ]

like so. and for what it shoots, essentially 9mm? kinda special though since it's a weapon of my own making, so it's just magical energy, when it comes down to it. bullet won't stick around once it hits its target, since it ain't exactly real

[photosympathies]

you made it yourself??? because it's really freaking cool, man!

( Not that he necessarily likes the idea of hatcheting people on a battlefield but he can appreciate the use for it. What if there's a blocked door or something? )

waitwaitwait
i need to know more about the not real thing.
it looks pretty real to me!!

... YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY BULLETS???

[fursuit]

ha, I did, but not how you're thinking

the technicalities are stupidly complicated, so don't worry about it too much. but the shorter version is that I'm a god. can kinda make whatever I feel like

[ like, on one hand, that's accurate, but on the other. no. that has nothing to do with how it works. but starting off with the god part actually makes the servant part easier to explain if he's that interested ]

[photosympathies]

( Oh.

Oh no.

Oh no no. )

a god, huh? what kind of god?

[fursuit]

ehhhhh not a capital-G god, but pretty damn close

omniscient. omnipotent. the whole shebang.

not, here, of course, since that's too much for LILTH to try and grab, presumably. but name's Tezcatlipoca. tloque nahuaque--lord of the near and nigh

[photosympathies]

oh.
a real one.

( Listen he might have some TRAUMA regarding the concept. Sometimes your brother gets too big for his boots, sometimes he has ideas of grandeur and he starts a cult, sometimes gods suck. )

the near and nigh, huh?
sounds mysterious.

[fursuit]

yep, the real deal.

[ He doesn’t mind it being questioned, since at least where he’s from, gods aren’t exactly easily accessible anymore, and that cuts both ways. ]

but yeah, supposed to. didn’t pick the epithet, but it works. the near would be humanity, since I watched over them pretty closely, and the nigh would be cuz I’m omniscient

well, normally, anyways. LILITH couldn’t grab that much of me

[photosympathies]

sorry if asking was rude.
i just know some people who take religion way too far.

but that's super cool.
watching over humanity i mean!!! i bet you get to see all the good they do. what's it like? it sounds amazing.

[fursuit]

nah, doesn't bother me. I'm used to people being curious. isn't exactly every day any mortal creature gets to chat it up.

[ Religion, though. That he doesn't touch, since he kind of doubts this guy would be thrilled to hear about Aztec religion and his worship in particular with a comment like that... Even if it's in the past, it's still pretty brutal, so far as they go. So! Anyways!

He doesn't answer the question. He doesn't think it's a good one, in a sense. So, he points out something else first. ]

you have an optimistic steak, huh?

[photosympathies]

( Mortal is a little funny. Vash isn't sure he exactly counts. But it's not like he's here to advertise his otherworldly status not when it gets him into so much trouble back home. )

i mean, i try to?
being pessimistic has never gotten me anywhere.
and things are never as bad as all that to be anything but.

[fursuit]

it's a nice pov to have

I ask because watching over humanity is that, sure. but not all the time.

so, reflects well on you that it's your first guess

[photosympathies]

oh.
yeah.
i guess you're right.
i'm not a god or anything but i've seen a lot of people and a lot of what they do. i just think the good outweighs the bad.
most of the time anyway.

[fursuit]

yeah. pal of mine has that view too. mine is more neutral, but to be fair, my domains don't pull the best out of people by default

it's a view I appreciate tho. pessimism is better suited for gods than humanity in my opinion

[photosympathies]

i would have thought gods should be optimistic!
all that boundless potential, right?
isn't that enough to be hopeful?

[fursuit]

on the individual, sure. even on the group, sure. but it's a matter of scale. for both the amount of people and time itself.

potential takes people far. even if lives are finite, the progress each life can make still pushes things forward.

but eventually, all things end. that's just the way of things. civilizations will fall. extinctions happen. entire worlds will come to their conclusion.

that's not something people are meant to concern themselves with though. hence why the pessimism is better reserved for the folks like me that have the ability to live through it all. even when the world ends, we'll be there to make something new.

[photosympathies]

has it ever happened like that for you? things just completely ending?

( Because it's an uncomfortable thought for Vash. He's far too aware that Nai would find this fascinating, that his brother had thought them gods. But his brother is not here - is not anywhere now - and he finds himself wanting to, what? Defend humanity? Talk about their survivability? Denounce pessimism in general? )

where i'm from, even if the worlds end humanity still finds a way. their last one is long gone and they made it all the way across the stars. not as many as they'd have liked, but they still did it. they're resilient.

[fursuit]

sure. four times. the first world was one of my own creation, and my brother's the one that fucked it up beyond repair.

[ Now, granted, Tezcatlipoca is also the one that destroyed it, but. He still blames Quetzalcoatl for its fall, since Quetzalcoatl is the one that removed the sun from it. Erasing the world was a kindness at that point. ]

each world we made after still had a flaw that led to its downfall. fifth time was the charm, in a way, but the way things are going? prospects aren't good. you think this world is struggling, mine would impress you with how dire shit is.