001 | TEXT | UN: timaeusTestified | BACKDATED TO 11.15

[gavehead]

Hey. It’s Dirk.
I am doing a flash sale on tattoos. Check them out. The theme is “Queer Coded Symbols of the Early 2000’s.” They are 7,500K a piece.

_{[ mild nsfw… ]} IMG_69420(3).jpg

Also a special on piercings if you are interested. 15% off.
I work at a little place called Pimp My Hide. Ask for Guy Fieri. That's my civilian name, unfortunately. You can book an appointment through me. I can also do requests if you have something else in mind.

Later.

Comments

[gavehead]

You obviously missed the deleted scene in Saw III.

Softcore gay porn everywhere.

_{[ he is 100% fucking with everyone here about Jigsaw being a queer icon. ]}

oh no, they're both like this

[makesascene]

Unless the puppet was directly involved, doesn't count. Someone better be having it with that puppet.

[Leo is also here to fuck with people, unfortunately.]

oh no indeed 🔞 dialogue

[gavehead]

Thats all the porn consisted of. Sweet, hot puppet ass and dick everywhere you looked.

Doggystyle, sideways, frontwards, backwards, upside down, 360 degrees, no condoms, in the living room, in the bed room, on the fridge, in the closet, on the ceiling, on the walls, in the bathroom, on the couch, on the car and in the street.

cw: teenagers talking about sex??

[makesascene]

[Leo weighs his options, which is funnier denial or pretending to believe-

Obviously, the puppet fucking is the way to go.]

And here I thought they'd go after their DILF demographic, since most of the actors in those films are like DILF-y dudes. Sweaty sad men with guns is a whole genre in itself.

Good for the puppet tho, glad he was keeping busy. Gotta keep his resume fresh for whenever they run out of saws.

[gavehead]

You sound like a man who has the refined and sophisticated taste for puppet pornography.

My kind of person.

_{[ oh no ]}

cw: more teenagers talking about sex and porn? I AM SO SORRY

[makesascene]

Puppet pornography isn't my bag, but I'm about to give you a hard time about it. I personally prefer a classic DILF. Given my brothers read this network, I'm not saying anything else about that.

We shake hands in mutual gay understanding.

🔞 dialogue

[gavehead]

You should absolutely go into explicit detail on how you would want a DILF to rail you raw, family reading the network or not.

[makesascene]

While I admire your audaciousness in puppet fuckery, I'm more the keep it behind closed door kinda guy.

Part of the whole ninja gig, ya know?

[gavehead]

I think you're just a coward to talk about it. Shy, even.

[makesascene]

I have three brothers, the 'you're a coward' thing doesn't work on me.

[Not unless Mikey hits him with it, then it's all over.]

Considering I talked to you about the puppet getting it, I think we're on even footing here.

[gavehead]

Have you found your ultimate DILF here yet?