01 | @hearse

[wheft]

Is anyone willing to exchange Christmas gifts with me
I really don't want the one they gave me and I doubt they'd let me return it
If not I'll just burn it or shred it to pieces I don't fucking care

[ attached to the bottom of this post is a picture of a printed sweater. it looks innocuous enough, but... well. it's a lot to unpack honestly, and she'd rather throw out the entire suitcase. ]

Comments

[frostfist]

You tell me. It'd be pretty pompous if I went around describing myself as a [ looks back at the mug ] total freaking badass.

[ literally who comes up with these things ]

[wheft]

See, I'd take your mug if you're really serious, but I don't know if I want to go around and pretend to be a badass prison guard. You already make it sound boring. Er, no offense.

[ she can't see herself getting an ID of one in the future either... ]

[frostfist]

None taken.

[ would he rather go around killing and being traumatized by whales, nnnnnot really, but he can't deny that 95% of his daily workload is boring-ass accounting. ]

What sorts of gifts do you like then? Now that whale-themed sweaters are out.

[wheft]

I'm not too picky, actually. I like being surprised on what people thought to get me during the holidays. Only this is the worst ever present anyone could've given me just because I was obsessed with it at some point.

[frostfist]

Looks like LILITH's sense of humor needs a little work.

[ sorry ishmael.... ]

You sure you don't want the mug? I can even paint over it for you if you want.

[wheft]

[ it's ok she's used to getting Ls... ]

What are you even going to paint over it?

1/2

[frostfist]

[ hol' up, he has to think about this ]

2/2

[frostfist]

'Best Hair In Team Brimstone'?

[ are they high schoolers now....reaching for end of year superlatives..... ]

[wheft]

[ you tried...... ]

That's really the best you can come up with? People here really act like they haven't seen long hair before, don't they.

[frostfist]

Long is one thing, but you have to admit the volume of your hair is something else.

[wheft]

True. I haven't cut it in a long while, and I don't plan on doing it anytime soon.

Anyway, I appreciate the thought but I don't wish to take your title as a Total Freaking Badass. Besides, this sweater probably wouldn't fit you.

[frostfist]

I'm sure I could find a use for it.

[ like taking it apart for yarn to use for his knitting session with blade. ]

But don't let me deprive you of the joy of watching it burn.

[wheft]

You're not gonna arrest me for arson, officer?

[ sorry. let her have this. ]

[frostfist]

[ he'll let her have this ]

Given the motive behind the crime, I think I can turn a blind eye this once.

[wheft]

[ that's so sweet, what the fuck. she's not used to this. ]

...Thanks.