@shash

[gyve]

I was shown by Noctis how to adjust my implant's text-to-speech settings
It's my hope that by the end of the week very few of you will sound like an overenthusiastic woman
Select the voice you want to be represented by using the link below
It'll go a long way in helping me to distinguish your messages from other people's

Thanks

[LINK]

( kaladin's implant reads to him in tiktok's "female-original" voice, but there are so many more to choose from. if you're savvy, you can even record clips of your own and have them uploaded so that it's your voice—personally—telling this idiot to stop using bar soap to wash his hair.

feel free to go wild with it. he'll have no fucking idea. )

Comments

[gyve]

There are far more things I don't know than things I do know

( ... )

Bah

A pineapple is a fruit and that sounds unpalatable in a savoury recipe
So I want meat too
And a hot pepper

This recipe looks complicated though
You have to make bread first

[fessus]

So I have to put a spicy meat pizza on the menu huh......

If I do that you're ordering it, otherwise I'm wasting my time and resources. Idk why I'd make bread though, it's an ingredient on its own

[gyve]

I'll eat anything
Except for extremely sweet things
A soldier can't be picky

But I like spicy food

Do you plan on making dough
Are you going to buy the dough

[fessus]

A soldier can't be picky but you can be here, right? I'm fighting competition if I'm trying to get you to buy something when you can go for whatever you want

[ ... ]

Do they sell dough here?

[gyve]

I've never tried it so yours can be the first one I eat
No pressure

But I have no idea
Probably
They seem to sell everything here

Wheat at the very yeast

[fessus]

[ ....... ]

Did you just make a joke

[gyve]

Maybe

[fessus]

Hey that was pretty good yk

[gyve]

Haha

Bread puns aren't good
You're just saying that because you think I've never made a joke in my life
That's what's funny

[fessus]

Who says bread puns aren't good

You?

Bc you're right and I don't think you've ever made a joke before this so I'm ready to hear the back catalogue that's so amazing

[gyve]

People tell me I'm sarcastic
That's basically one prolonged joke isn't it

( and wouldn't you know it? so is my life )

Whatever
You can't ask people to rattle off everything they've said
Share your back catalogue

[fessus]

Fine you want a joke?

Yk how to open your camera setting now right?

[gyve]

Yeah
Why

[fessus]

Put it in selfie mode

[gyve]

( ... does as noctis asks for the sake of the joke, activating his camera in "selfie mode."

he stares at himself in his holo-screen as though he's looking in a mirror, wondering at the punchline. maybe it's his face, unsmiling and tired. that he'd agree with. that'd be funny. )

What now

[fessus]

[ ... Kaladin just does it, without telling him to get bent or that it's a stupid joke. Which means now it can keep going. ]

Take a pic

[gyve]

( .......... )

Ugh

( ... takes one. it captures kaladin showing off a very sarcastic smile. he sends it to noctis for review. )

[fessus]

[ Ah.

"Send it over" was a follow-up command he was debating but hadn't committed to, but Kaladin commits for him. His hair needs a trim, as usual. And there's the tiredness showing in circles beneath his eyes, of course.

But the smile is a different look for him, and Noctis wants to stare as much as he feels it's strangely invasive to do so. He minimizes it. ]

You could at yeast laugh

[gyve]

Ha ha

I don't think I understood it

[fessus]

You don't understand that you're a joke?

[gyve]

I was waiting for you to deliver the punchline but this is it I guess
How terribly original

Mine was better

[fessus]

I'm the one who said yours was good in the first place but then you got an attitude

[gyve]

Now we're back to square one

( ... )

We should really find a way to record your voice for the speech to text generator Noctis

[fessus]

What?

Where'd that come from all of a sudden lol

[gyve]

It's not sudden it's the entire purpose of the conversation
It'd be nicer to hear all this spoken by you