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@shash

I was shown by Noctis how to adjust my implant's text-to-speech settings
It's my hope that by the end of the week very few of you will sound like an overenthusiastic woman
Select the voice you want to be represented by using the link below
It'll go a long way in helping me to distinguish your messages from other people's

Thanks

[LINK]

( kaladin's implant reads to him in tiktok's "female-original" voice, but there are so many more to choose from. if you're savvy, you can even record clips of your own and have them uploaded so that it's your voice—personally—telling this idiot to stop using bar soap to wash his hair.

feel free to go wild with it. he'll have no fucking idea. )

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[oh my god this sweet summer child - me and also sampo]

And you'd better remember it, sweetheart!

Well, is there a reason why I shouldn't? I like meeting new people

( the "female-original" voice is really elevating that "sweetheart" and taking it places )

No of course not
I don't know why I asked that
You'd know what you want better than me

It'll be good to greet one of my comrades
We'll be working together in the future so it makes sense to
You can pick a time and place miss

( desperately trying to seem less lame )

[The implant doing all the catfishing for him. Success.]

Sure thing! You're so gracious

Here. There's a nice little cafe not too far from the base. Let's meet for a lunch, shall we?

( expected an invite to the cafeteria or recreation area, but this... this sounds like a date... )

Okay
If you send me the coordinates I can meet you there
Unless you'd like me to walk with you

[Wow this is a normal get-together with a lovely lady from LILITH no need to read into it.]

Aren't you a gentleman?

It's up to you. I wouldn't mind either way

If you're at the base I don't see why we couldn't go together
It's safer in pairs anyway
This city can be dangerous

I will meet you at the main exit doors and you can lead the way

Oh golly well

I can't refuse a gesture like that

I'll meet you there, then :)

( with the oh gollys out of the way and the text conversation concluded, kaladin stands at the centre of his quarters looking lost. lunch has been organized in minutes, and now he's set to meet a pleasant woman at a café. surreal.

it's not a date, he reassures himself. it's one outsider casually asking another outsider to dine with her—a team-building exercise. a way to strengthen the relationship between redemption and revelation. harmless and, therefore, permissible... not that he would've said no if it were explicitly defined as a date.

so he changes out of his loungewear into a simple configuration of pullover, jacket, and slacks, then leaves to meet his new friend. for reasons beyond even him, he finds that he's genuinely excited. this gives him energy, which is used to make great time, but acting cartoonishly avoidant of anyone in the hall trying to get his attention doesn't hurt his progress.

whatever wait is ahead of him—a lady arrives precisely when she means to, and punctuality was never an obsession of his anyway—is taken in stride. there are responses to his messages to draft, which he tends to now, murmuring at his implant until miss poisson shows. )

[A sucker is born every minute, they say.]

[Well, maybe this guy's not a sucker. Yet. Sampo has no true target here, no goal in mind other than having a bit of fun. After everything, isn't elation the name of the game? Here, he'll play his part, and the man shall have a nice time, and be none the wiser. Maybe through talking with him he'll find something to work for - for now, it's, well, a date!]

[And here comes the lady of the hour. Taller than perhaps Kaladin might have expected, at a good five foot eleven, with a peekaboo bang and a bright green eye framed with perfectly laid mascara and brown eyeshadow. He's wearing a simple red dress, with a blue coat overlaid his shoulders. Unfortunately for everyone, Sampo is very, very good at this whole thing, and his voice is mildly low, but perfectly feminine all the same.]

...Mister Kaladin?

( his anxiety spent its wait convincing him there'd be extreme fanfare when miss poisson turned up.

but time doesn't slow when she approaches, nor do her colours look brighter and her edges blurred. she looks the way she looks—beautiful, certainly, anyone with eyes can see that—and the rest is over quickly. she walks up, addresses him, and kaladin dismisses his implant's user interface with all the innocent intentions of a tragically repressed bachelor.

the red dress, however, catches his attention. plain, but loud and obviously tailored to fit. and her eyes are its perfect complement.

he'd been ready to make a painfully normal first impression. unfortunately, a man is a man is a man; kaladin blushes and shies, hunching a bit out of his towering height. )

Er, yes. It's nice to meet you, Miss Poisson, ( he begins, lingering in place after pushing into the mouth of the exit. ) You look very nice. Let me get the door for you...

[Miss Brughel Poisson is one of his favorite masks. She can be an everywoman, a journalist, an HR manager, a simple homebody on the edge of town. She carries herself with dignity, bats her eyes, gets people to defer to her charms. Kaladin blushes with shoulders shifting awkwardly up, and it's adorable. Sampo Koski wouldn't get to see a sight like this.]

Oh, thank you. ["She" smiles behind a gloved hand, visible eye twinkling - oh, he really is going to have some fun with this.] For all your talk about femininity, you really are a gentleman, aren't you?

( kaladin forgets the door is automatic, so on approach, it detects his implant and slides apart. he stands there, hand raised awkwardly in a half-complete gesture, momentarily paralyzed by how lame he is, then makes a fist. )

Ta-da... ( if only he could die. he'd like to die, especially right now. he thinks about it a lot.

with red ears, he proceeds outside to walk the grounds toward the city streets. ) I'd like to apologize to you for what I said to Silco. It'd be easy to excuse it as a misunderstanding, but I don't like acting dishonestly. With the way I was raised... I think it's one more thing for me to work on.

I think very highly of the women in my life.

[Oh.]

[Well.]

[At least chivalry exists! In some fashion. Even with automatic doors. "She" is doing her very best not to laugh.]

If you treat them like you're treating me so far, then I would believe it. [A little tilt of the head, eye going over those cute red ears.] Then were you trying to insult him, then?

( the way he's treating her... by opening an automatic door for her? by greeting her politely?

kaladin frowns. it'd be a pity if miss poisson was unaccustomed to basic human respect. )

I was. Silco's been on my last nerve since I met him. He always has something ready to say to make others feel lesser.

... Be careful around him, Miss. There's a reasonable man in there somewhere, but it won't be me who finds him; I don't have enough of the blood, sweat, and tears required to dig him out.

[Maybe Miss Poisson is just trying to butter him up - even she's not that cruel to make fun of a man down on his luck.]

Oh...Silco? [Now that brings on a thoughtful expression.] I haven't met him yet...if he gets on your nerves that much, why keep talking with him?

... He reminds me of someone.

( slowing on the sidewalk, eyes—softening now where they were stormy before—fall away from the horizon line of the street to be attentive to his date. )

And I think we come from similar circumstances. That dark place he's in... I've been there before, but I've never stayed long. I've always had friends to help me out of it.

He's an open wound left to fester. He thinks he's the only one he can trust—and even that must be hard sometimes. So, I understand. Because of that, I find it hard to ignore him.

[Well. That was a little more than he bargained for, with this answer. This man really has a bleeding heart, doesn't he? He's talked with Silco. He knows most people would have no love lost about him.]

Mm.

[He thinks for a moment, trying to come up with an answer that doesn't sound somewhat awkward. "Poisson" keeps her tone light.]

So you see yourself in him, too. And you think...you have a chance at saving him, is that it? Do you think you could?

Edited 2025-01-27 01:46 (UTC)

( saving silco? as they come up on the cafe, kaladin shakes his head. )

I'm not interested in saving him. That's not my duty, and even if I was, my words wouldn't work; I don't mean anything to him.

... His daughter might be able to manage it, but she doesn't want their circumstances to change. I'm only trying to talk some sense into him to minimize collateral damage done to this city by our team.

( he gestures down the block at a cutesy sign. ) Is this the spot?

[Now that's a man who has some honor. The key word being "some", he thinks, but Sampo thinks most would've given up on him by now. The fact that he's trying to talk sense into a guy like that...]

[Foolish? Admirable? He can't find the word.]

...You really look out for others, don't you?

[And Miss Poisson glances over, before giving him a light smile.]

That's the one. Come along. They have pastries that are to die for, hehe. Are you a fan of sweets?

They're people. Human beings, like us. Seriously considering their fates in this chaos is the bare minimum, ( kaladin grumbles, embarrassed. keeping an eye out for his neighbours, even if he can't provide direct help, is the very least he can do.

they're certainly keeping an eye out for them. some civilians stare as they pass. they're a beautiful woman in a bright red dress and a tall man with a stormy look on his face. magnets for attention.

clearing his throat, he decides to be honest. as always. miss poisson seems like she's a woman who respects that, or maybe she's simply indulging him. either way, it'd be stupid to lie about his preferences. )

I don't like sweets. It feels like someone's hitting me in the jaw—you know, right beneath the ear. ( that ache is... unpleasant. ) Savoury things are okay. It's on me, so get whatever you want.

What's your favourite thing on their menu?

[The bare minimum, he says. How funny, how some don't even have that.]

[The honesty is refreshing - maybe even nostalgic, its funny how some people really just show their heart on their sleeve around a known liar like him - and he blinks, before reaching out to lightly touch him on the shoulder.]

Aw, hon, that's a shame. But that's not a problem. Let's find something for you, too. I wouldn't want you to miss out.

Mis Poisson already moving to the counter, gesturing to what seems to be a little savory tomato-cheese flatbread. And for herself...]

[Why, it's a nice sweet little cupcake, with a cherry on top.]

I like a lot of things! But their cupcakes are to die for.

( feeling her hand on his shoulder, kaladin's forward look drops to the side. she's comforting him, which shouldn't feel as nice as it does. he isn't a child, he doesn't need to be pampered or told his preferences are "not a problem," but he can't help how pleasing her reassurance is.

after that, he follows her closely into the café, a little starstruck. )

I'll have that piece of bread with the cheese and red things on it. And for the lady, that "cupcake". The one with the, um... the other red thing on it.

( not too expensive. with a couple of drinks added to the bill—a chai tea for him, suggested by the staff, and whatever miss poisson would like—their goods are offered out on cutesy china, and they're given free reign regarding seating arrangements.

kaladin, of course, selects a sunny spot for them by the window. he sits side-saddle, long legs manspread away from the table for more room, allowing miss poisson to take all the space beneath it. )

Hey, thanks for the recommendation. There are way too many options...

Haha. That's a cherry, there.

[This is soooooo cute. Cuteness overload. She really has to restrain himself from pinching this man's cheeks. Acchem. Kaladin's a grown-ass man, please, this is a date...]

[Miss Poisson gladly takes the inventation, gracefully sweeping into a chair as she crosses her legs underneath the table, leaning a cheek against a hand as her eyes fix on his face. A chai tea for the both of them, as Miss Poisson swirls a gloved finger lazily around the side of the cup.]

Not a problem. It really makes the mind whirl, doesn't it? Do you have places like this where you're from?

( a cherry. he learns something new every day. his lessons aren't normally facilitated by such a gorgeous woman, though.

he can feel himself sweating beneath her stare, and sitting in the sun by the window doesn't help. he can meet her vibrant eyes, but not for long, and he has to glance away occasionally to centre himself. tarah and lyn never looked at him like that—no one has. miss poisson makes it seem... intentional. as though everything she does—the crossing of her legs, the deep lean, the circling of her finger—is meant to telegraph her intent, entirely without deception (LMFAO!!!).

does she... like him? or is it her natural charisma?

confused, kaladin blushes again and takes a bite out of his flatbread. )

There are many establishments like this one, but not quite so... stylized. Alethkar is more practical about its aesthetic, I guess. ( less light, with far fewer colours and charming little knick-knacks. ) Um... Do you have other favourite spots in the city? You must have plenty of places you like to go in your free time.

Not so stylized...

[A little hum as she reaches down to take a little dainty sip - complete with pinky out! - of the tea. It leaves a bright red lipstick stain against the cup.]

[Everything in its place. Everything calculated. A good hook draws in the best fish.]

Oh, several. I'm out, I'm about, I'm all over town. I do like the cat shrine place...what was it called? Either way, its quite scenic! Are you a nature lover, hon?

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gyve - 2025-03-02 22:52 (UTC) - Expand

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