video | @typhoon

[photosympathies]

I need advice!

( Hello network, here's your friendly neighbourhood Stampede about to fully launch into something with no forewarning and no introductions. It's how he makes friends ... and also enemies, don't worry. ) So, we have to get jobs, right? But I'm not exactly sure what I'd be good at. I usually just do whatever people need around the towns I'm visiting, which means I know a little of most things. But I figured this place was new and people might be a little more cautious about that. So I made flyers!

( In one hand - metal, blue sometimes sea green - Vash holds up a stack of leaflets. )

Only when I was trying to give them out I got a lot of dirty looks so can someone tell me what I've done wrong! I really want to be useful while I'm here.

( Turning the flyer around so that his ( unfortunate ) captive audience can see. The design is obviously home made, and probably in a rush. On the paper it proudly proclaims

VASH THE STAMPEDE
RENT BOY
WILL DO WHATEVER YOU NEED
COST: ???
Below that is a crude drawing of the man himself - a stick figure with a triangle body ( his coat, sadly missing ) and a mass of spiky hair. It has a crude beaming smile on the circle of a face. )

Is it the drawing? I could have done better I guess, but I was in a hurry. ( A pause, a slow dawning realisation. ) Aw, shoot. It's the name, right? I didn't use my civilian name! Crap, that's probably a no-no.

( Nothing else could be the issue.

... Right? )

Comments

@destiny

[intertwinedfates]

Uh. I'm guessing the name's not so much the issue as is the advertisement itself. Take it from me, wording is everything when it comes to self-promotion.

It has to be more snappy! Like... "Guy for hire: whatever you need, with speed!" And what YOU need is a top-notch artist to give your ad a visual pop that'll catch people's attention!

And it just so happens I work for cheap as an artist, if you're interested!

[photosympathies]

Oh! Hey, you're right, that does sound better. More professional!

( No wonder he got chased out of that combini! He just wasn't very sharp on the get-go. The offer of help brightens him up but then he wilts just as quickly, rubbing the back of his neck and letting out a quietly embarassed heh. )

And I really would, I'm not very good at art. But I kinda already used the money they gave me on these leaflets. And then I maaaaybe spent the rest on donuts. ( Bad business practices all round! ) ... You don't need any odd jobs doing, right?

@meatbuns

[saragi]

isn't a rent boy a prostitute?

no wonder they were giving you filthy looks, man

[photosympathies]

( ...

Oh no.

Oh no.

Ohnononono. )

WHAT.

[saragi]

yea
i don't know who told you to use rent boy
but they must have been fuckin with you

[photosympathies]

some guy.
YEARS AGO.
oh god, oh no.

i already handed so many out!!!

[saragi]

if they were just locals, then make new flyers with your civilian name

i can also help you look for jobs if you want
i'm pretty good at it

[photosympathies]

u don't think they'd recognise me?

( He absolutely means from his super realistic stick figure drawing. )

and i'd really appreciate that. i'm usually pretty good at getting work, i think it's my face. but idk i panicked here.
i can do a lot of different things tho!

[saragi]

[ he takes another look at the doodle. ]

no, they won't [ so flatly. ]

i met some business owners during the blackouts, so i can give you a recommendation

just don't freak out during the interviews and you'll be fine

[photosympathies]

interviews???

( That's so much to ask of him, Alma! )

i guess that makes sense, they want people that can actually do the job, right?
i'm more used to just finding someone who needs something done and doing it, but i can figure out interviews.

( Maybe if he interviews he can get paid! Imagine! )

@pochita

[nutkick]

[ seconding alma ......... against his will. ]

you're calling yourself a prostitute.
as a cop, i should arrest you.

[photosympathies]

( He's been here five minutes and he's already in trouble with the law??? New record! )

woah, hey there sheriff.
it's not what it looks like!!!

[nutkick]

the drawing doesn't help either.

[ the naked stick figure. ]

[photosympathies]

art's never really been my thing.
but can't we just chalk it up to a misunderstanding? i'm new in town, i don't know the lingo!

( Never mind that the lingo is also lingo'd back home. )

@vessel

[eyescar]

Maybe it's because you didn't list a price?

[ Yuji frowns, thoughtful. ]

People like having a good idea of how much things are, I think.

[nutkick]

hmmmmmm.





call me 'sheriff' again and i will let it slide.

[ listen, it sounds cool. ]

[photosympathies]

See, I thought about that! But then I didn't want to set a price that people couldn't afford. Where I'm from people don't really have the spare double-dollars so mostly they barter, I didn't want to put people off.

( He was thinking ahead! )

[eyescar]

No, that makes sense! If you want to help people, no price is too low, is it?

[ Frowning, Yuji tries really hard to think. ]

I wonder if there's a easier way of saying that.

[photosympathies]

sure thing!
whatever u say, sheriff!

( He is not above ass-kissing, apparently. )

also just fyi.
i'm totally not one. a prostitute i mean.
not that i think there's anything wrong with that!!!
... apart from the very real problem of legality.

( CAN'T ARGUE MORALITY WITH A COP, VASH. )

[photosympathies]

Right!

( Could it be ... a kindred spirit ...? )

And like, I don't mind not being paid at all. I tried telling some guy he didn't have to give me money but he took off like I was trying to rob him or something. ( Potentially the prostitution crossed-wires, but who knows? ) I guess I could put 'fee on agreement' but then I'm worried people might think I'm too expensive instead of less.

[nutkick]

[ okay, forgiven. heh. ]

yeah, i know.
nothing about the way you tried 'selling' yourself was exciting. it was kinda funny to watch.

[ alright, enough tormernting this guy. ]

sooo
what kinda job you wanna' do?

[photosympathies]

( Wow.

Are you saying he is not a catch? He's so limber! )

i think that's probably because i don't have a corset.

( That's how prostitutes on Gunsmoke did it anyway. )

but honestly?
anything.
i'm not picky.
i think that's the problem, because where i'm from i just sort of breeze in and see what needs done for a while.

[eyescar]

It's the same for me. As long as I can help people, that's what matters to me.

[ Yuji sighs softly. ]

Could it be something like... 'Pay what you can'?

[photosympathies]

Hang on, where did I put that pen? ( He starts patting down the LILITH greys, then proudly produces it to start scribbling on the flyer. ) Pay what you can sounds much better. Also I guess I have to change the wording elsewhere too.

( How was he supposed to know what rent boy actually meant! )

Does guy for hire sound weird to you?

[eyescar]

It's a work in progress, so that's okay, isn't it?

[ As for the rest - ]

It sounds normal to me.