text | @moneybags

[lovebombing]

[This is......a strange post. But it sure is a post on the network, indeed.]

 

˜”*°•.˜”*°• WHAT DOG BREED ARE YOU? ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS BELOW, AND YOU'LL FIND OUT THE DOG BREED THAT BEST FITS YOUR PERSONALITY!!! •°*”˜.•°*”˜

What's your favorite food?
What's your favorite color?
What's your birthday?
What's your nickname?
What city were you born in?
What's your mother's maiden name?
What street did you grow up on?

ANSWER NOW AND FIND OUT WHICH DOG BREED ARE YOU TODAY

[Sampo Inc(TM) is responsible for the contents of this message. Yes, you will find out your dog breed. Sampo Koski promises RESULTS.]

Comments

[lovebombing]

[do NOT listen to the HATERS!!]

It's because it's fun! You can imagine yourself as a cute little pupper :)

[mechspeed]

Were I to find myself a weak and helpless canine of some sort, it would merely inhibit my ability to crush my enemies. I do not see how that warrants this face.

:) <-

It would be inconvenient.

[lovebombing]

You have clearly never met a dog

An angry dog could really mess you up!

[mechspeed]

They possess neither the physical strength of an echidna nor the speed of a hedgehog. It would pose no threat.

[lovebombing]

What are those

[mechspeed]

A hedgehog is a spiny mammal of the subfamily Erinaceinae, in the eulipotyphlan family Erinaceidae. Echidnas are quill-covered monotremes belonging to the family Tachyglossidae.

They are my enemies.

[lovebombing]

That's so scary-sounding!

And you hunt these things? Like for sport?

[mechspeed]

No, we are enemies. We are at odds.

The hedgehog is present. You will witness his speed for yourself and understand why a mere hound could never match up to him.

[lovebombing]

Oh he's here?

I thought you were referring to some giant horrible beast or something!

What does he look like?

[mechspeed]

[Attached is [file: Sonic.jpg] which, gonna be honest, the shot makes it look like Metal was stalking him from afar and took the photo without him noticing.]

[lovebombing]

[...]





[..............................]

This is just a blue furry guy

[mechspeed]

His appearance belies the danger he poses.

He is capable of surpassing the speed of light by running.

[lovebombing]

Does he have claws or magic powers or something I mean

Speed is impressive!

Trying to see how its dangerous

[mechspeed]

Are you aware of what being struck at that speed would do to your body?

[lovebombing]

No


What does it do?

[mechspeed]

It would be 1016245% more deadly than being struck by the fastest car on record. You would be instantly vaporised.

[lovebombing]

Yikes!!!!

But once again he's just a blue furry guy

Maybe you could reason with him?

1/2

[mechspeed]

I do not wish to reason with him. I wish to kill him.

[mechspeed]

Except we have made a truce.

But under normal circumstances.

[lovebombing]

This might be a personal question but why do you want to kill this fella so bad outside of dangerous super speed

Like what did he do, kick your dog?

[mechspeed]

He is my other self. So long as he exists, I will not.

That is all you need to know.

[lovebombing]

So it's an existential thing. Whoah

How did that come about? You a clone of his or something?

[mechspeed]

I am his superior.

[Getting into Things He Doesn't Actually Want To Delve Into now, hence him clamming up a bit on that subject.]

[lovebombing]

You're his boss???

[mechspeed]

No. I am simply the superior iteration. I possess superior speed and strength, as well as lacking his weaknesses.