text; @Goldilocks, after April fight

[likemybooks]

[Everyone has to know. Some saw what happens to Ereshkigal during the fight, some only know that she disappeared. As the one responsible, Taryon feels he's deserved the position on breaking the bad news to ll Outsiders.]

It is with a heavy heart that I must relay to you all that our friend Ereshkigal is not with us any longer.

She was thrown into a Rift by the kaiju and vanished.

She fought valiantly and tried to protect me even in her last moments.

I'm sorry. I wish we didn't suffer such a heavy loss in this fight.

- Taryon Darrington

Comments

[sanguivorous]

[His initial reaction is to retort that he's aware Taryon is 1,010% homosexual, but he swallows it down.]

I'm aware. I was making a joke. I . . . apologize if it was in bad taste.

[Apologizing. Gross.]

[likemybooks]

[Taryon breathes in sharply and tightens his grip on his knees...

And relaxes.] It's fine. There are already unsavory rumors about her and Ration floating around, and I don't want any lies about me. Or her.

[What if people mistake his chivalrous behavior as a hint of heterosexuality? That could damage his reputation!]

I don't...really like these sorts of jokes. That's all.

[sanguivorous]

That's fair, considering...

[Considering the memory that had been shared with Astarion. Being denied a part of you is by no means pleasant.]

But all the same, you are lucky to have a friend like that here. Read a nice, titillating book so once she returns you have something exciting to talk to her about.

[likemybooks]

[Taryon doesn't ask for clarification. There's a lot that Astarion learned from his memory, and now is not the time to go over the repercussions of his father ending Taryon's first relationship.]

I'll...find something she likes, how about that? When I'm not working on finding her. Some of these fine people here already have plans on investigating the rifts. I just have to do all I can to make it go faster.

[sanguivorous]

Sounds as if she has many people to rely on then. I'm almost jealous.

[He IS jealous, and though he tries to say it flippantly enough, the edge is there. A jealousy so deeply rooted in him from centuries of wanting to be rescued or even just missed that though he knows this time should be for Taryon it just can't keep itself fully hidden ]

I'm sure she would appreciate it no matter what you did.

[likemybooks]

[Taryon's eyes flick to Astarion. Almost jealous. Because he didn't have a horde of teammates looking for him because...he was dead for a long time? No one knew where he had disappeared? Cazador was hiding his identity?

And here is Ereshkigal, not even minutes gone and with multiple plans of rescue.]

Yeah. But... [He turns to fully face Astarion.] Are you...alright about this? That we're looking out for her while...never mind. I shouldn't bring it up.

[sanguivorous]

[He blinks and glances at him curiously, unable to guess what Taryon was going to say.]

While what? Go on, I'm listening.

[likemybooks]

It's just...

[He tries to smile, but he ends up looking like a chimpanzee displaying all of its teeth in a show of fear.]

I hope you don't feel bitter that we're doing this for her when I saw what happened to you when you were living...at that castle.

[sanguivorous]

I--ah...

[He's stunned, as if Taryon had just sucker punched him. He stares at him for a second, red eyes shining with some ill-used emotion before he has to look away.

Any time he had expressed some sort of jealousy, or bitter comment, for aide or rescue he had never been afforded he had been met with dismissive replies or treated like some spoiled child. Sure, he could be abrasive, or even petulant, about it but was he truly that out of line?

And here Taryon is not acting like Astarion was out of line or being silly about it. Astarion finds it hard to talk for a moment, and he really wants to hug him but he finds he can only look at his own hands, resting on his knees. The small spark of of that envy and anger fizzles out from being shown that sympathy.]

I won't lie, I feel quite jealous, even some anger, but it's not--it's not something you should worry over.

[As he says that he reaches out, placing a hopefully comforting hand on Taryon's leg.]

[likemybooks]

[It's not often someone lays a hand on him in a comforting gesture - save for his closest of friends. Granted, the hand above the knee draws a pinkness onto Taryon's cheeks for other reasons, but that's not a bad thing. It doesn't make him uncomfortable as long as it's just a brief touch.

His hand balls into a weak fist.] I wouldn't blame you. I mean, it's not the same thing, but growing up, I was envious of stories where people were free to leave their home and have adventures while I was stuck to do my duty and...

[He clears his throat.] But just so you know, if you fell into the rift, I'd also want to help you get out. But I'm also glad that you're still here. [His eyes narrow as he smiles at his good friend. A kind friend, despite having lived for so long.

He's so lucky to also have all these people that have his back.]

[sanguivorous]

[It isn't a brief touch, his hand remains there as he stares at him. Taryon was right that his situation didn't match his, and in the past Astarion would have snapped at him for comparing them, but he knows this man understands. He has been a witness to just enough to understand.

Astarion wants to lean in and kiss him.

There was no other way to take this feeling he has. He might as well fully admit it (to himself at least) that the fondness he has for Taryon has grown to affection at some nebulous point before this day. It's a frightening feeling; the last time he had grown soft for a man it had not ended well after all, and so he can't bring himself to act upon his desire. However, seeing Taryon smile was enough for him in this moment.

So all he does is smile back, and nods in acknowledgement to Taryon's words that even through Astarion's pessimism he knows he means.]

And I, you.