01 | @hearse

[wheft]

Is anyone willing to exchange Christmas gifts with me
I really don't want the one they gave me and I doubt they'd let me return it
If not I'll just burn it or shred it to pieces I don't fucking care

[ attached to the bottom of this post is a picture of a printed sweater. it looks innocuous enough, but... well. it's a lot to unpack honestly, and she'd rather throw out the entire suitcase. ]

Comments

[yuwon]

That also depends. Do you like eggs?

[wheft]

Eggs??

[ ?????? ]

[yuwon]

[ why is this the first photo he sends anyone... ]

[wheft]

That's... adorable.

[ yuwon never beating the gap moe allegations ever ]

Do you like eggs that much if they chose to give that to you? [ she doesn't know.......... ]

[yuwon]

[ this is horrible. ]

Not necessarily.

But, I did have an egg back at home. Though, no one knows what would have hatched from it. Especially now. [ listen, it's Complicated. don't make me do this. ]

[wheft]

[ sorry bijoo... ]

Why do you have an egg in the first place? [ ... ] Can you even eat it?

[yuwon]

It was a reward.

[ which sounds weirder now that he thinks about it, but— ]

It's a living being... Could you eat something that speaks to you. [ ish... why is eating it your first thought. ]

[wheft]

Not really, but...

[ sorry... something shifted ever since she's been exposed to too much freaky chickens back home-- ]

Wait, it talks?

[yuwon]

[ what chickens??? projmoon has chickens and whales??? ]

Sometimes it sings, or prompts me to hurry up. It also enjoys a nice bath once in a while.

[wheft]

[ AHSJDHS OF COURSE THERE ARE ANIMALS IN PROJMOON... HELLO....... ]

It's more like a pet at this point. Are you sure it won't hatch into some monster that'll try to eat you one day?

[yuwon]

[ STOP!!! THOSE WEREN'T ANIMALS YOU SHOWED ME!!! ]

If it's a monster I can use, I don't mind.

But, does this mean you like them? You seemed pretty excited to eat just now.

[wheft]

[ hehe... don't worry about it ]

I was just thinking about food. It isn't that deep.

Anyway, I don't think I can take that egg machine from you. It's too valuable.

[yuwon]

Valuable...?

[ ??? ish??? ]

[wheft]

I mean, would you really exchange a machine that'll make you perfectly made eggs in exchange for one ratty sweater? I think that's unfair.

[yuwon]

I probably won't use either, so it makes no difference to me.

Besides, it'd save you from wearing it, or giving it to someone who would. And if you feel bad about it, let's say I ask for a cooked egg once in a while.

[wheft]

Would you really wear it? Because it might a bad idea if I see you in it, to be honest.

[ the feminine urge to kill a whale, printed or not ]

[yuwon]

As fun [ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ ] as it would be to see you in action...

I seriously don't think it would fit, and I doubt you'd want to see me in it.

1/2

[wheft]

[ yuwon really want to see her lose it, huh....... ]

That's my point. It'd be unfair on your part if you're just going to give me a gift that I'd actually use in exchange for mine that you can't even wear. I think it's a better idea if I burn it and get it over with.

[wheft]

I wouldn't say no to a freshly cooked egg from you every now and again, though.

[ free food... ]

[yuwon]

You really want to burn it. Guess I can't say no to that.

[ ... always on egg duty. ]

I've never had anything turned around on me like this before. [ but, it's also not a no, either. ]

[wheft]

[ he'll never escape the alleggations, i fear ]

No one really tried countering you until now?

[ makes her wonder what kind of friends he had becoming coming here... ]

It's fine, I'm not too bothered throwing it away. It might even be cathartic for me. [ ... ] Thanks for the offer, though.

[yuwon]

Maybe they did and I just didn't care.

[ or didn't notice because he cared so little (yeah, you gotta feel for his friends sometimes)... ]

Yeah, you may as well let off some steam while we can.