01 | @hearse

[wheft]

Is anyone willing to exchange Christmas gifts with me
I really don't want the one they gave me and I doubt they'd let me return it
If not I'll just burn it or shred it to pieces I don't fucking care

[ attached to the bottom of this post is a picture of a printed sweater. it looks innocuous enough, but... well. it's a lot to unpack honestly, and she'd rather throw out the entire suitcase. ]

Comments

[cranekin]

Ah.
Not your style, then?

[wheft]

It's... a lot more personal than that. I'm interpreting this as some sick joke from them, honestly.

[cranekin]

A sick joke... ah, that would explain the curse that's going around now.

[wheft]

A... curse?

(nsfw text)

[cranekin]

👅💦👨🏻FELIZ NAVIDADDY 👨🏻👅💦🧑‍🎄⁉️ARE YOU READY TO GET YOUR JINGLE BALLS ROCKED ⁉️ 🎄today we celebrate jesus first CUMMING 😩 and encourage his second 💦 🧑‍🎄prepare to be FILLED 😩 with holiday cheer😉 you’ve heard of ELF ON THE SHELF 🧝🏼‍♂️ but get ready to REARRANGE HER 🤶🏽😵‍💫 UNDER THE MANGER 🐪🍃👅 santa’s got a BIG 😮 SWEET 🍭STICKY 💧🍯 CANDY CANE 🍬to put under your tree not only is santa claus coming to town 🏘️ but he’s also PENETRATING 👉🏼👌🏼the CHIMNEY 🕳️ 💨 and CUMMING ON ME ☃️ so don’t come a KNOCKIN 🤰🏻if the sleighs a ROCKIN 🛷😩 if you’ve got the cookie 🍪👅 santa’s got the MILK 🍼💦 and santa is HUNG 🍆‼️like the ornaments ‼️on your tree 🎄❓SO ASK YOURSELF ❓will you be TOPPING 😜👆🏼your tree this year or BOTTOMING? 😋 👇🏼 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your SLUTTIEST ELVES 🧝🏼‍♀️🧝🏼‍♂️👅 to receive a WHITE 🍼💦 christmas 😩🧑‍🎄 if you don’t get 1️⃣0️⃣ back get ready for santa’s 👅🪨ROCK HARD🪨👅 coal 😵‍💫

[wheft]

[ ... ]

That's not a curse. It's spam.

[cranekin]

People keep using words in this era and I have no idea what they mean.

nsfw text

[wheft]

I mean, I don't know what half of these words mean either. Like, who is Jesus and why do we need him to cum?

[ HELP ]

[cranekin]

Ah, Jesus. I know him.
He's the son of God.
Ah, actually, I'm surprised by how far Japan has come. Before, I wouldn't have been able to imagine a festival for his birthday here.

[wheft]

Gods?

I did see a lot of broken-down temples around this city. Do they really exist?

[cranekin]

Not gods. God. The Christians only believed in one God.
Which is no good when the government once believed there were many.

(Vague mini history lesson there.)

Well, if you asked me... I would say they do!
Ah, but perhaps I'm a little biased...

[wheft]

Biased how? Are you a believer?

[cranekin]

A little more than that... but yes!

[wheft]

O...kay...

But that's beside the point. I'm just going to burn this and get it over with.

[cranekin]

You're really going to burn it?

[wheft]

I got no choice. If I see anyone else wearing this, I wouldn't be able to control myself.

[cranekin]

That bad, huh.
Do you know when you'll burn it?

[wheft]

Maybe in a week or so. I could use it to celebrate the new year somehow.

[cranekin]

You could take it to a shrine.
Other people will be bringing their old charms to burn all of the bad luck they've accumulated through the year.

[wheft]

You can do that?

[ HUH ]

And I thought I was going to find a way to commit arson in secret while in LILITH grounds. Thanks.

[cranekin]

All you have to do is find a fire.
Of course, starting fires can be fun, too.

[wheft]

Someone already gave me the OK to start fires, but maybe doing it at a shrine seems more apt... IDK. Shrines like the ones found around here aren't really common where I'm from.