@hellskitchen ; text

[cutlery]

Good afternoon, all.

If we have not yet become acquainted, then please, allow me to introduce myself. I am Sebastian Michaelis, another recently arrived Outsider, and most pertinent for why I make this address today, recently employed on LILITH’s base here in Neo-Tokyo. My official title is the kitchen manager for the cafeteria, but as needs must, I have taken on some additional responsibilities. I may not be in service to my lord here, but I still feel it important to best offer my skill as a butler.

First, on matters of food.

I am attempting to improve the menu on offer in the cafeteria, and I hope that anyone that has stopped by to try the improved offerings in recent weeks has enjoyed them. However, I would very much like to expand such offerings. If there is a particular dish that you find yourself missing, please, do let me know. I will endeavor to recreate it with your assistance, though I can make no guarantees. If you have a recipe I can follow, all the better.

Second, on matters of facility maintenance.

While our automated services are adequate, I do believe that the order and cleanliness of the base could be improved. Thus, the additional responsibilities I have taken on. If you find any part of the base in disrepair or would perhaps like your personal quarters cleaned regularly, please let me know. It would be my pleasure to do so, as a tidy home makes for happier people.

If you would like a full list of services I offer, I would be glad to provide it. I simply fear that this is already a rather long announcement.

Thank you very much for your attention. Do have a wonderful day.

- Sebastian Michaelis

Comments

@rubber ducky

[curingidiocy]

I'm quite curious to know what you gain from providing these services.

[cutlery]

You and others, seemingly... I did not think it would be so controversial, honestly.

I am paid for the work, but I also enjoy it. I have nothing further to explain beyond that, I fear...

[curingidiocy]

I understand that you have a passion for cooking, so your desire to improve the cafeteria's menu does not surprise me. However, housekeeping is not an activity most would consider becoming passionate about, to the point of offering to clean other people's messes. Or are you simply that fastidious?

[cutlery]

Perhaps I am simply that fastidious, yes... I enjoy housekeeping as well, truly.

Mind you, it is irritating when messes are made on purpose or out of idiotic negligence, but besides that? It is very satisfying to work at something and see the results of your efforts. Polishing banisters was perhaps my favorite chore of the manor for that reason. The clean sparkle of something well done is pleasing.

[curingidiocy]

I suppose I can understand that sentiment. For that reason, I have modified the cleaning robots LILITH offers to us to improve their cleaning capabilities for my own spaces. As such, I'm afraid that I have no need for your services.

[cutlery]

[ this is the second time someone has told him he was fired before he even got hired because of the roombas... at least ratio isn't MEAN!! about it like verg ]

The little roombas, correct? I just learned their name from a fellow due to this posting, in fact.

What did you modify them to improve, if I may ask? I would still do my work by hand if only out of habit, but I cannot help but be curious.

[curingidiocy]

[ Sorry Sebastian... at least when it comes to his own room, he is loathe to invite people in to clean it. Cat visits are okay though. ]

That is correct. Standard roombas are designed to clean dust and debris from the floor, and have little capability in handling shelves and other elevated surfaces. I have modified one to act as an air purifier, and given the other two object recognition capabilities, a levitation system and mechanical arms to allow them to handle objects and narrow shelf spaces with ease. One of the latter two has also been given the tools needed to handle stubborn messes, while the other will eventually have the capacity to deal with pet specific filth.

[ That is a lot of modifications, yes, but it's just a little tinkering for someone like Ratio. ]

[cutlery]

My! Substantial indeed! Do be sure not to share your innovations too much, lest I indeed be put out of work.

I am just kidding, though, should that tone not be clear.

It is very impressive. My head almost spins to imagine how it all may work, but that is the fun of this situation, a bit. I have so much to try and learn while I have the opportunity, even if it is something perhaps a bit banal.