synnet | [text] @goddess of death

Greetings everyone. I am contacting you on behalf of Nicholas D. Wolfwood (user name: punisher).

He recently made a post offering his services as a priest to those who wish to confess their sins. While admirable, the payment he asks in return for such a service is unacceptable. Normally he should be chastised for such behavior, however the money he hopes to earn through his service is to be used for a noble cause: helping the orphaned children of this world. I believe this cause to be an important one and he deserves to be commended for having decided to take it on!

Unfortunately, he lacks the confidence to ask for donations, hence his resorting to selling what should be a sacred service for money. He is convinced nobody will help him, as people typically never give anything away without the expectation of getting something back.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could reassure him that the people in this world are generous. While nothing is prepared yet to receive donations, I am sure he will feel heartened to see the kindness and benevolence we are all capable of. I will personally donate some of my own money when the time comes.

Thank you for your time.

— Ereshkigal, Goddess of Death and Queen of Kûr

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

HEY I HEARD ABOUT YOU

[Uh oh.]

[ I-Is that the person from her unfortunate not!reddit post? The one where she somehow oversold herself...? Oh gosh, don't panic Ereshkigal! Deep breathes!! ]

You have?
T
That is quite surprising!

YEAH SOMEONE WAS ASKING ABOUT YOU ON THE MESSAGE BOARD

[This guy never did figure out that was a self-post.]

THEY MUST BE REALLY INTO YOU BECAUSE THEY KNEW A LOT ABOUT YOU

LIKE THEY'VE BEEN STALKING YOU

BUT THEY GOT ME PRETTY CURIOUS TO MEET YOU

T
That is truly worrisome!
Thank you for warning me about this villain.

[ Sniff. Sob. ]

I suppose it is only natural to be curious about the goddess of death!
If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer.

I LIKE TO MEET IN PERSON BETTER

BUT I WAS WONDERING

WHY DO YOU CALL YOURSELF THE GODDESS OF DEATH

Well that is because I am the goddess of death, of course!
In my world, I hold divine authority over the afterlife.

[ That means she's a scary(?) and dreaded(??) goddess, okay? In fact, her next reply is sparkling because she's so confident about this. ]

You're safe here, but your soul would belong to me if we were in my domain, ehe.

[ While that's true, that's also a joke and she hopes the "ehe" helps convey it! ]

OH

I THOUGHT IT WAS A NICKNAME

NOT REAL

I DIDN'T KNOW DEATH NEEDED A GODDESS

BUT I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT HUMAN GODS

I'VE MET SOME BUT THEY KIND OF JUST SEEM NORMAL

YOU TOO

HOW DO YOU BE A GODDESS OF DEATH

It's because what you've met are our avatars.
LILITH couldn't summon our true forms.
So we are inhabiting human bodies.

Well, I look human even in my true body...

[ And she's much more beautiful (really). ]

I was born that way.
The moment I came into existence, I was dropped into the Underworld!

I DIDN'T JUST MEAN THE WAY YOU LOOK

BUT THE WAY YOU GUYS ACT TOO

AND NOT JUST IN THIS PLACE

MAYBE I COULD BECOME A GOD SOMEDAY

🤣

WHAT'S THE UNDERWORLD LIKE

[ He's found the gods here normal... S-Surely he's talking about Yato and Zagreus. Yes yes. There is no way he met Tezcatlipoca or Set and decided they are "normal." ]

It is a lot of responsibilities.
You shouldn't wish to become a god unless you are ready to sacrifice yourself to your duties.
Your personal happiness and dreams do not matter when you are a god.
You only exist for the betterment of those you watch over.

[ That's the official version and the one she adheres to. In reality, 99% of the gods are weirdos who just do whatever they feel like. ]

It is a quiet and peaceful place.
The best place for souls to sleep in.

WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING A GOD THEN

THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO DIFFERENT FROM ME

BUT WITH MORE PRESSURE

CAN YOU QUIT BEING A GOD

I HAVE SOME FRIENDS WHO ARE GODS WHO COULD STAND TO HAVE SOME FUN INSTEAD

WITH ME

You cannot quit being a god, no.
Unless humanity ends first.
Or whatever planet and species you are watching over.

Gods shouldn't have fun.
They should be dedicated to their duties.
Even if they want to cry sometimes.

[ That's not her, perish the thought. ]