001. [text] | CW: talk of death

[saudadist]

@KIJYO

So who else was supposed to be dead?

Not expecting honest answers if you don't feel like it.

Comments

@duke

[frostfist]

I definitely should have died several times over by now, but I'm guessing that's not what you mean.

[saudadist]

close enough, depending on how almost dead you were this time I guess

[frostfist]

About to be dissolved into seawater kind of dead?

How do you know you were actually dead, if you don't mind me asking? Most dead people I know don't really have any recollection of anything after it happens.

cw: body horror

[saudadist]

it's pretty gross, honestly

my body was falling to literal pieces, skin melting and sloughing off, limbs detached.

pretty sure there wasn't any recovering from that

[frostfist]

Not a pretty picture, that's for sure.

[ He falls quiet a moment, thoughtful. ]

There's no chance that LILITH managed to, oh I don't know, bottle up your soul to bring here and put into another body?

[ It sounds casual but he genuinely has no clue. The level of technology here is so far beyond what he's used to that the very act of collecting and storing souls might as well be plausible to him. ]

[saudadist]

asking the wrong person, honestly

I don't know the first thing about technology other than how to use some of it

[frostfist]

So this place is as much a mystery to you as it is to me then.

Does it bother you? Being alive again.

[saudadist]

I don't think it was the wisest decision

but I'm going to keep moving forward until I can't anymore
just lying down and dying is something I can't do

not as long as my hands or feet can hold me up

[frostfist]

A rousing show of determination. What makes you say your revival wasn't the wisest decision, if you don't mind me asking?

@kuzunoha14

[the_fourteenth]

I think so. But it is difficult to be certain, isn't it.

[saudadist]

in most cases, you'd hope so
if you're lucky, you don't remember a thing

[the_fourteenth]

I would hope so, for other, yes. I'm not so lucky. I'm fairly certain it's why I was brought here in the first place - saved from the brink of death by whatever you call all of this. I awoke completely healed from my injuries.

[saudadist]

same story really

there's some things you don't want to heal from but hey at least it's healed up right

[the_fourteenth]

[He really needs to sit with that one for a minute.]

Correct. There are lessons to be learned, and you won't learn anything if your mistakes are wiped clean.

[saudadist]

are the scars physically there? or all mental?

[the_fourteenth]

When I awoke here, I was back in perfect shape physically. But mentally, nothing had changed. Lesson learned.

[saudadist]

it's strange

when you can remember the feeling of a mark that's supposed to be there
but it's gone when you look for it

@babylon

[psyker4649]

i better not be!

the last thing i remember was talking to this dumbass who was trying to kill everyone, until he had a big mopey change of heart and was gonna send us home. if he changed his mind again after all that i'm going to be so pissed.

[saudadist]

you're alive now so
probably not the case

unless that guy got really good at vaporizing in that small window of time

[ And hey he might've! She wouldn't know. ]

[psyker4649]

meh, wouldn't put it past him.

anyway, couldn't it be the same for you? you couldn't be using this brain computer doohickey if you were full dead. or a zombie. are you a zombie?

[saudadist]

I hope not

[ New anxiety unlocked. Thanks Akira. You're a peach. Her restless nights are sure to be filled with unpleasant dreams of being yet another one of horror's D students. ]

[psyker4649]

relax, that seems like that'd be an easy one to check. first question: what's your opinion on eating people

[saudadist]

I think I threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about it

[psyker4649]

see? you pass! we could stick a paper ofuda on you to be really sure, but idk if there's any shinto priests in the base.

seriously, don't worry about it. if you're really supposed to be dead, that just means whoever was trying to off you is in for a big surprise!

[saudadist]

[ "Whoever" is a funny word. Part of her wants to say it's a whole category of people, and that most of them are long gone anyway. But that's too grim, too dismal, too much to throw at others who don't need that downer on them.

Maybe she really should start to see it as a comfort. Nobody here will hold her existence against her. It's not the ideal circumstance but...it's a new start all the same. ]

yeah

they're a whole lot of not my problem anymore