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video | @that's humerus

[In a picture perfect seiza, Yugamu waves politely to start the video.]

Hello, everyone! I've spoken to a few of you already, but I wanted to try and make a more professional first impression!

[Putting his hand down primly on his lap, and smiling brightly in a way that could not possibly prepare you for what he's about to say;]

My name is Yugamu Omokage, and while I'm a professional assassin, currently, my goal is to become a doctor! If anyone has any tips on how to best further my education, I'd love to hear it! That said, if any of you are personally offended by Dr Spim's conscientious bedside manner like Mr. Silco, I'm happy to provide an alternative, I have lots of hands on surgical experience!

[This absolutely needless shot at Silco is offered completely blithely like it's funny to him, rather than a genuine mean spirited critique of the man.]

The other thing I'd like to ask after is information about the kaiju. I know there's some on public record, but I'm curious to get more personal accounts, particularly if anyone else has tried taking them apart or tested any toxins on them!

In any case, I look forward to working with all of you! My previous monster killing experience was with people my age so I hope to learn a lot here.

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[He is absolutely not ignoring that username.]

I don't know, Daddy, do you not stand by what you said? Shouldn't you be flattered I have you in my thoughts, Daddy?

[

every time, he remembers how much he hates his name (and why I'll never let him figure out how to change it) ]

Just call me Silco. Ignore the name they programmed into this device.

[ Tightly. He suffers. Truly. ]

[This is part of his karmic punishment for his crimes.]

Oh? But the title suits you so well, Mr. Silco!

[Audibly enjoying himself. This is very funny to him.]

[ Why this why him ]

You barely know me. It doesn't fit at all.

[ area man who is a bad guy and a parent says the name "bad daddy" doesn't fit. ]

[You gave Yugamu a scrap of positive attention. Now you're stuck with him.]

I may not know you very well yet, but I know you enough that you could tell me to call you whatever you wanted and I'd do it, Mr. Silco. You could be a Daddy Dom if you wanted.

[ Christ alive, someone save him. ]

You wouldn't catch me dead doing that, so no, I don't.

New subject; how interested are you in testing poisons on Kaiju.

[ yes he IS going to redirect him by giving him something to experiment on ]

[He will allow the redirect. He can always bully Silco more later, and this IS something that interests him.]

Very! I have plenty of interest in testing poisons! My eldest brother got me interested in that from a young age when he'd test his on me.

[ Silco will just keep having to redirect this kid huh ]

There's more people like you?

Not that I don't appreciate a little curiosity in the field. Do you hate him for it?

[ Silco's projection beam aiming... aiming... ]

[Yeah! Keep strafing, Gandalf.]

Oh yeah! It's the family business. My parents, two older brothers, and younger sister are all also assassins.

Why would I hate him for it? He was including me in his work and would always administer the antidote before it did any lasting damage. I was still too little to do my own work so I was excited he trusted me to help!
[Apparently this is a sibling bonding activity in his mind.]

Oh, the look on his face the first time I got him with one of my own!! It was a memorable family dinner.

[ It's just the exercise he needs! ]

Hm.

You know, most families see such things as a betrayal of trust. Generally, one attempts to murder due to malice, not...

[ What's a good way to put it... ] Childish mischief.

That's my experience with murder, though.

[Yugamu shakes his head, he's disappointed in you, peepaw.]

For the love of murder, you have to see things from our perspective, Mr. Silco! A family business is a collaborative effort. My brother wasn't trying to kill me! Sure, sometimes our arguments can get a bit heated, but at the end of the day, we're family.

Trying to poison him was just me showing off to him what I learned from him, you know? He was really proud! Especially because I snuck it into his food without him noticing.

[ Sometimes you experience an attempted murder and it's the worst moment of your life, ok?? ]

So everyone in your family was as...enthusiastic as you are about these things, then?

[ Damn a family of freaks... ]

I will admit, I've not often found reason to take... that level of pleasure in the deaths of others to the point of pride. It's simply a tool, like anything else.

[A family of freaks indeed. Apparently based on what Yugamu says, his mom and dads first meeting was like an extreme version of mr and mrs smith.]

Of course. That's why I know that even if they'll be surprised, and maybe a little disappointed, I know my family will accept my choice to change careers. No one's being forced to go into the family business. We're proud of what we do!

That isn't to say that you or others are wrong for not seeing it the same way, of course.

[ no they're cute too.... ]

Oh don't get me wrong. I've worked with some people who are quite passionate about their work. It is less that you exist — or the members of your family — and more that you all are so...concentrated.

I've never known families that all went into the same line of work like you do, and see it not create friction.

[His family seems like they are all toeing the line of horrific and wholesome the same way Yugamu is.]

I think that's part of why my parents encouraged us to each find different areas of specialization. For example, my two older brothers specialize in poison darts and explosives respectively. A job that requires subtlety is going to pick my eldest brother over the second oldest every time, you know?

I see.

[ Well... honestly.

Is this that different from how he's raised Jinx? ]

But one that needs a more explosive end I assume goes with the second, yes? I've utilized that one before plenty.

Right. I don't really see the appeal myself, even less so now that I've experienced dying of an explosion, but we all got along nicely for the most part outside of work. He's on the quieter side like our father anyway.

It's certainly very effective, but it just doesn't feel very romantic to me, you know? And leaves less of a body to be laid to rest.

[ Silco wonders, very briefly, if he'll die in an explosion.

He just doesn't know. He does, however, know who kills him. So it's uh. Not impossible.

Still. Something sticks out. ]

Romantic.

[ Said so deadpan. So, so deadpan. ]

Yes! I mean, I know most people don't see my vision, but surely you can see how something like stabbing someone with a dagger is more romantic than turning them into pink mist with a push of a button.

[ Silco, who has shaped half of his personality around That Thing That Happened, actually has to take a moment. ]

No. I can't.

[ sure jan ]

I'm afraid that as someone who normally is forced to use a knife if I must: I'd rather it not be equated with intimacy.

[Yugamu clearly doesn't understand, but he also isn't in the business of telling other people how to feel. So he just sighs.]

That's a shame. But I suppose it can't be helped.

If it is any consolation, I'm not particularly focused on what constitutes as romantic, or not.

Perhaps you would have better luck with someone who spends their time thinking about these things. I generally don't.

[ 😐 sure, jan ]

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video | @that's humerus

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i said device, i mean implant 🤦‍♀️

I didn't see nothin' (i forgot that's how it worked too)

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