synnet | [text] @goddess of death

[ This message is sent to anyone Ereshkigal hasn't talked to since the event ended, even if she's never had any CR with them. Each message is personalized and individual but I - the player - cannot write individual messages for every character in the game. So please assume there are variations to the message your character got, thank you. ]

Greetings,

I have done terrible and inexcusable things over the course of those past few months. Though I was corrupted through the power of the rift, I take full responsibility for those things I did. The rift did not create anything: it only exploited what was already there within my heart. It is entirely my fault for having allowed emotions and feelings that could later be exploited to fester within my heart.

I have been allowed to stay and continue helping in the efforts to help this world, and I intend to do my utmost to prove myself an ally of humanity. I do not expect anyone to forgive me and I understand if you are afraid of me or would rather never see me again: I shall do my utmost to be invisible to you. However, I shall not relent from helping LILITH as my love for humanity is unwavering and has never changed.

Most importantly, please do not hold any grudge towards others who have been corrupted. If you find yourself having negative thoughts towards them, such thoughts are misplaced. They are kind souls who sought to help me, and suffered as a result of it. They are amongst the most beautiful souls I have ever encountered and they in no way deserve to be treated poorly. Note this statement only partially apply to Silco. Though you should bear no grudge towards him for what transpired last month, I do not consider him to be a kind and beautiful soul.

Furthermore, I would like to put an end to some strange rumors that reached my ears. It is said I took people in relationship to assist me when I was corrupted. Well, just about every of the people I consider close to my heart are in relationships. It would have been more surprising had one of the seven guardians been someone not in a relationship. The pattern some of you may have observed is as such, not a pattern at all.

Lastly, I would like to issue a warning about those rifts. Please avoid them at all costs. Though I dare not presume your heart bears the seeds that could lead to an apocalyptic outcome, it is evident the potential for evil exists within us all. Rifts should be avoided entirely until we understand them better.

I am sorry for everything.

-- Ereshkigal

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[ That's so thoughtful... She lets go of the plush and takes the cappuccino with both her hands. ]

T-Thank you...

[ She holds the cup for a moment, not saying anything. She's forcing herself not to cry, Lucy doesn't deserve to see such a sad spectacle. She's grateful enough that her friend doesn't absolutely hate her after all this. ]

How... How are you holding up?

This leg keeps kicking out when I don't want it to.

[ She gestures down to her prosthetic leg before coming up and taking a seat next to Ereshkigal. She opens the bag and fishes out a chocolate glazed donut to pass to the blonde. ]

Other than that, I'll live.

I...

[ She opens her mouth to say "I'm sorry" when Lucy shows her the prosthetic leg, but she closes it after a few seconds. She won't be happy if she apologizes again. And that won't solve anything. ]

... You're so strong. [Many are those who would be broken over the loss of a limb.] And you managed to save Godzilla. I-I don't think I would be able to live with myself had some taken this chance to...

[ ... To kill him. And she knows there are those who wanted to. Considering how spiteful and angry Aventurine has been upon visiting her in the hospital, it's a small miracle he didn't get to Godzilla. ]

[ She doesn't have to finish the sentence for Lucy to know where she's going with it. The horned woman taps her fingernail against her cup then hums again in disapproval.

Things were dicey during that fight. She lost her leg, Godzilla lost his tail and arm, and others lost bits and pieces as well. But they're all still alive, and that's what matters. ]

Well, they didn't kill him. [ She wants to add "because I'd have killed them my damn self," but doesn't. Could she have done it? Maybe, but she'd have died in the process, she's certain.

She takes a sip of her cappuccino through the straw before reaching over to ruffle the blonde's hair as if to shake such thoughts out of her head. ]

Worrying about hypotheticals like that will make your hair turn gray and fall out, you know.

[ A head pat? A head ruffle?! It's been a long time. ]

... I'd rather avoid it.

[ Ereshkibald isn't on her list of future prospects. Though the gray hair she could work with. Of all the things that happened to her during this event, her hair turning silver wasn't the worst of it.

But since Lucy is here and she trusts her... Maybe she should tell her something she's had on the heart. ]

Do you think... It's bad now is the most loved I have felt? [As in, ever.] Seeing so many people fight to help me, so many people forgive what should be unforgivable, I... That's not something I ever expected.

[ The ruffling stops, but her hand trails into one of Ereshkigal's twin tails as she listens. Her eyes stay locked on the goddess's face before glancing away. ]

It's not bad.

[ Her gaze goes back to Ereshkigal, but with a smile, she moves her hand down around her shoulder and pulls her closer so she can rest her cheek against the top of the blonde's head. ]

There are plenty of people that love you, and you're more than worthy of that love.

I'm still struggling with accepting I may be worthy of it...

[ That fear is probably not going away anytime soon. But... It's getting easier to deal with her insecurities. And as proof perhaps, she closes her eyes and rests against her friend when she holds her so kindly. ]

But I cannot deny how many people do love me. [Whether she's worthy or not - the love is there. That's... Nice. No, more than that. It's wonderful.] This world... In spite of everything, it's really been a chance for us, hasn't it?

[ Us and not just her, because she knows Lucy has suffered immensely in her homeworld. In different yet just as painful ways - if not even worse. ]

[ "You and me both," she wants to say. Acknowledging that you're worthy of others' time and love is difficult. She knows it well. It's easier to tell the ones she cares about that they're worth it than it is to internalize that same truth for herself. ]

Yeah. And who knows how long we'll get to keep this chance, so- [ She lets that syllable hang in the air before continuing, softer. ] It'd be a waste not to take what we want since we have the opportunity. That way, we have no regrets.

Edited 2025-07-24 01:49 (UTC)

[ No regrets... That's what she always tell the living she meets. That they should live without regrets, so that once they meet their end, they'll be able to proudly declare "I lived my life as I wanted and without regrets." ]

I have none. If I was given a chance to do it all over again... I wouldn't change a thing. Even the painful moments. Because even then, I did what I believed was right. [Mostly. Some things she technically regrets, but she still wouldn't change because they all led to this day and this moment.] Well, I guess some of it hurts. But I prefer having this pain than not being true to myself.

[ No regrets.

She has her own regrets, yeah. There are many things she'd do differently if given the chance. However, that's not possible. Time only ever moves forward with no chance for redoes. You have to take the good with the bad and try to make the future better than the present. ]

That's a mindset I can respect, honestly. [ She laughs softly before turning to kiss the goddess's gold-spun hair. ] The worst parts of life can be like fertilizer, you know? Awful, they stink like shit, but...

The most beautiful flowers sprout from the worst circumstances.

[ Is her analogy perfect? No. It's crass. Something not fit for a goddess. But still, it's honest. An honesty that matches how she grips the little goddess's hand in hers. ]

I'm proud of you, Ereshkigal. There's nobody else who shines as radiantly as you do.

Edited 2025-07-27 01:23 (UTC)

[ It's true some fertilizer doesn't smell good, b-but she definitely wouldn't have worded it that way.

... Still, she gets the sentiment behind the words. And it definitely gets to her. People being "proud" of her is. Well, it's very rare. Even when she does her best or continues with her duties against all odds, the world just keeps going round without a care for her. That's what has changed with this world the most.

That's in part why she feels so loved. ]

T-Thank you... [She's not crying (she definitely is).] And I can scarce think of anyone in whose mouth such a compliment would mean more to me.

[ There's a moment where she's not sure her analogy was any good. Comforting others with anything but the blunt truth is hard. But, she's relieved to see they've given her friend some much needed solace. ]

I'm glad, because I mean it. I don't say things I don't mean.

[ She bunches up her sleeve and dabs at Ereshkigal's eyes with it. ]

No more tears, okay? They'll make your drink all salty.

I... I promise to try...!

[ Will she succeed? The human body has so many tears inside...! Honestly, she's surprised her vessel never runs short on tears. Still, she smiles as brightly as possible at her...

... And even sparkles a bit. ]

See? That's the effect you're having on me!

[ She should really question how a goddess of the underworld is able to shine so brightly as to sparkle. But really, given who Ereshkigal is as a person? It's just something innate, tied to her very soul. That's her rationale. ]

I'm glad.

[ She laughs and gives the goddess a little squeeze around her shoulder. ]

I knew the Ereshkigal I know was in there somewhere.

[text] @goddess of death

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