[text] @goddess of death

[queenofkur]

[ This message is sent to anyone Ereshkigal hasn't talked to since the event ended, even if she's never had any CR with them. Each message is personalized and individual but I - the player - cannot write individual messages for every character in the game. So please assume there are variations to the message your character got, thank you. ]

Greetings,

I have done terrible and inexcusable things over the course of those past few months. Though I was corrupted through the power of the rift, I take full responsibility for those things I did. The rift did not create anything: it only exploited what was already there within my heart. It is entirely my fault for having allowed emotions and feelings that could later be exploited to fester within my heart.

I have been allowed to stay and continue helping in the efforts to help this world, and I intend to do my utmost to prove myself an ally of humanity. I do not expect anyone to forgive me and I understand if you are afraid of me or would rather never see me again: I shall do my utmost to be invisible to you. However, I shall not relent from helping LILITH as my love for humanity is unwavering and has never changed.

Most importantly, please do not hold any grudge towards others who have been corrupted. If you find yourself having negative thoughts towards them, such thoughts are misplaced. They are kind souls who sought to help me, and suffered as a result of it. They are amongst the most beautiful souls I have ever encountered and they in no way deserve to be treated poorly. Note this statement only partially apply to Silco. Though you should bear no grudge towards him for what transpired last month, I do not consider him to be a kind and beautiful soul.

Furthermore, I would like to put an end to some strange rumors that reached my ears. It is said I took people in relationship to assist me when I was corrupted. Well, just about every of the people I consider close to my heart are in relationships. It would have been more surprising had one of the seven guardians been someone not in a relationship. The pattern some of you may have observed is as such, not a pattern at all.

Lastly, I would like to issue a warning about those rifts. Please avoid them at all costs. Though I dare not presume your heart bears the seeds that could lead to an apocalyptic outcome, it is evident the potential for evil exists within us all. Rifts should be avoided entirely until we understand them better.


I am sorry for everything.

-- Ereshkigal

Comments

@Bootyyyshaker9000

[soft_shelled]

This is a pretty shitty apology, you know that?

[He doesn't give two shits about Silco, but really, even with how bad he is at apologizing? He knows you don't just shit talk someone when you want sympathy or forgiveness.]

[queenofkur]

Yes.
I'm sorry I mentioned I do not appreciate this murderer.
Everything else I wrote means nothing any more.
I got the message.

[soft_shelled]

Look, I don't care about him? But a real apology tends to, you know, not put down someone just because you don't care for them.

Heck, I'm not forgiving you, but not for that. But because your stupid illness could have killed my brother.

[Not because he lost an arm during all of this, nope. But because she put Leo in harms way.]

[queenofkur]

I am SICK of this.
This man has killed my friend,
Gloated about it to my face,
Threatened me in my hospital room,
And you're all here defending him.
As if making clear I see no beauty in his soul.
Invalidates everything else I said.

I am sorry for your brother.
Though for the first time I will say what I refrained from saying these past weeks.

I was not in control.
I did not choose to fall into the rift.
I did not want to harm anyone.
I never wished for any of this to happen.

[soft_shelled]

[He's not one to get into this kind of thing, but with everything that has happened afterwards?

Yeah he's kinda of snapping at Eresh.]

What part of "I don't care about him" is hard for you to understand? Your issues with him should stay between the two of you, like when you complained about that other guy months ago? Do you really think any of us should care about your issues with someone that isn't us?

And so? Yeah, you didn't mean to fall into the rift. You claim you weren't in control, but I kind of doubt that? I was effected by whatever it was you were doing, and I'm well aware that what I was thinking and feeling at that time?

It is actually something I would do, you just gave me a little push towards a way of thinking that's there. I just keep it in check normally. So, claiming you're nothing like what you were? Stop lying, everyone has that horrible little voice that tells them to do whatever they want. Even so-called "gods".

Maybe accept that some of us just don't want a hollow apology, and accept that others will take you for your word. But don't whine about those of us who aren't, and be happy with what forgiveness you're getting.

[queenofkur]

[ Okay, she gives up entirely on Silco because clearly it's a lost cause. And she's not going to bother explaining the details of what a Beast is. Besides he's right in a way: that's something that is inside of her. ]

It is not a hollow apology!
I am genuinely sorry for everything I've done.

Maybe I did not word myself well enough.
But I know what my feelings are.
If there are any other way to apologize that are more appropriate, tell me what they are and I will do them.

[soft_shelled]

[Eh, what.

Why the hell is she asking him that, he doesn't know. Because going "just do everything to not do it again" sounds kind of stupid? But that is how he's done things when he apologized.]

That's going to depend on each person. Some people will be fine with words, others will want proof of you actually working on what you did wrong. And some people just won't ever forgive you, and you just have to accept that.

[Ugh this is so out of his wheelhouse.]

[queenofkur]

I know that.
But you called my apology hollow.
You said I do not mean it.
Would it be better if Silco was not mentioned?
Would that make my apology not "hollow"?

[soft_shelled]

Adding your beef with Silco does make it come off as if you don't mean it, yes. It's something none of us needed to know?

[queenofkur]

So my apology would be fine without that portion?

[soft_shelled]

Honestly? Yeah, just excise the whole thing about your feelings towards those who you used. Saying to not hold it against them is fine, but we don't need to know why they ended up there with you, like even if it is to clear up the theories people had. You could have just said "The theories were not correct" and let anyone interested ask you about it.

[queenofkur]

I see.
Thank you.
I will remember it if I ever need to make another apology.
Though I hope such a time will not come to pass.

[soft_shelled]

Hm, yeah. One can only hope.