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Audio | @rubber ducky

[ The message begins with a clearing of the throat before a smooth voice filters through the ocular network; that of the very distinctive cadence of Dr. Ratio. He speaks calmly and lower than he usually does in an attempt to evoke a soothing tone that is not present in his usual manner of speech. ]

Given recent circumstances, I imagine many of you may be finding it difficult to rest and relax. You cannot be faulted for that; as of late, I have often found myself plagued with an active mind during the night, when I ought to be asleep. However, it is important to allow your body and mind to recuperate from injury and exertion. When one's body is exhausted, so too is the mind sluggish, and vice versa. Baths are quite effective at soothing the body and clearing the mind. I encourage you to make frequent use of the spa's public bath once we return to base.

[ There's a pause here and then another clearing of the throat—one that sounds like a cover up for embarrassment. ]

But I digress. The purpose of this message was not to provide a lecture on self-care.

I... have been told by students before that my voice has a particularly pleasing quality that is easy on the ears. A few have been audacious enough to inform me that they use my lesson recordings to put themselves to sleep. In light of that... I would like to offer my voice to be used as a sleeping aid for any who would benefit from it.

I have attached a link to several of the lesson recordings I have created since my arrival on this planet.

[ Anyone who is curious enough to peruse the offerings will find neatly named audio files for an undergraduate semester's worth of several subjects, ranging from math to physics to biology, among more. There's almost 50 files in total, and each one of them comes with a text transcription accompanying it. ]

You may utilize these as you desire, though I do hope you find an interest in the subject itself. There is never a better moment than now to start learning something new.

In addition, I am open to recording new material if you find none of these are relaxing to listen to. And if you desire a conversational partner to debate with on topics unrelated to what weighs on your mind, I am happy to fulfill that role.

As always, if you have any questions, you may ask me at any time, provided that you have thought carefully and determined the answer to be worthwhile to know.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, that's not fair, Doc. I remember a lecture from you when I said I understood why people kept falling asleep in your classes.

You were supposed to discuss plans with me instead of focusing on the quality of my voice. I don't believe I need to explain to you why commenting on a colleague's voice in such a manner is inappropriate during a meeting.

Details, Doctor. We got there in the end, didn't we? I remember it being quite the successful mission, too.

That doesn't change the how inappropriate your observation was.

Do you need something? Surely you didn't comment just to say that.

Well it wouldn't be inappropriate now, would it? I charge for testimonials, however, with no friends and family discount. I'm sure you understand.

Can't a vampire say hello to his favorite snack once in a while? Honestly, Doc, I thought we were long past needing a reason to send texts to each other.

I hardly need a testimonial when it is obvious how much you enjoy the sound of my voice.

Oh, is that what I am to you? Just a snack? Perhaps I should be offended.

could you do other things?
like reading from a recipe book.
or recounting the day’s news but summarized.

Yes. Is there a particular recipe you'd like me to recite, or a certain section of the news you'd like to hear about?

now that you’ve asked i don’t actually have anything in mind on hand.

something spicy for the recipe. with crab.

Would the two of you just take one another to bed?

Honestly, I'm with her. At least flirt privately.

[ The response comes back in voice, first with a quick clearing of his throat. When he speaks, it is with a smooth, quiet cadence, designed not to catch the listener's attention and engage them in the lecture, but to soothe, calm and lull them to sleep. ]

Ahem. I have found a recipe called Singaporean Chili Crab, which appears to be a signature dish of the titular city-state. The city was apparently known for its penchant for spicy food, so I believe this will adequately fulfill your requirements.

This particular food blog claims that the sauce is a key aspect of the dish's complex flavour. Should it be made incorrectly, the dish will fall short of replicating an authentic taste.

For an accurate recreation of the dish, you will need a mud crab, which is prized for its sweet and meaty flesh. However, any big crab may be used if one cannot procure it.

[ He pauses for a moment as a thought occurs to him. ]

Perhaps the kaiju crabs from Okinawa would be an adequate substitute.

[ What the-?? That's... so that's Kaga's hallucination. Or maybe this is a case of a dissociative identity brought on by trauma. ]

That gambler should be in bed if he knows what's good for him.

[ By which he is referring to Aventurine's injuries. ]

But your complaint is noted.

[ Not at all ashamed, or at least that's how it appears to be through text. ]

Should you not be in him as well? Or is it thee other way?

Akagi-Nee-sama, please. Don't tease them so vulgarly.

No fun, but if that is what my dear little sister wishes~.

[ Honestly Kaga is so embarrassed she could just fucking die right now. She just started getting on better terms with Ratio, she doesn't need her sister's brand of teasing to ruin that. ]

I apologize for her. She's been a handful since she started feeling better.

Anyway. Would you consider recording lectures on this world's history? It may serve a second purpose and give us some insight into the actions the people have been taking.

[ Granted she's not in the least bit interested in that, she's just sneakily trying to find a way to listen to his voice drone on while also finding out what happened after the time her original self sank. She hasn't been able to work up the nerve to look into it herself yet. ]

[ Well that has Ratio blush. Thankfully, the exchange is over text, so Kaga has no way of seeing how her words have affected him. He doesn't respond to that particular jab, since it isn't any of their business what their bedroom arrangements are.

A history lecture? That isn't a bad idea. He hadn't looked too deeply into the planet's history save for when he was curious about a particular aspect of the planet's culture, but perhaps Kaga was right. There might be some hints that could help them. ]

Has a particular section of the planet's history caught your attention?

I think this is a great idea, Doctor. Very generous of you. These lectures hold very valuable information, and...valuable distraction.

[Dan Heng is one who enjoys his solitude, but due to recent...events, as mentioned it's...silence has become rather distressing, lately. Provides room for thoughts too loud and dark.]

If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to hear some history from you. The...place or planet it's from does not matter too much. But it would be nice to think of new places to Trailblaze to someday, I think.

[Having read the message, there's only one thing Yato can respond with:]

owoicewncodddddcmeopwldsopwdeiovncewpc

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Sorry, Doc, he's just messing with you.]

[ His voice... isn't truly that effective, is it?? —no, wait. ]

Zero points. That is a poor imitation of someone falling asleep at the keyboard—which, might I remind you, does not exist in a manner that would allow for accidental keysmashing.

[Oh yeah, damn futuristic technology! That would've been funnier if he'd fallen for it, though.]

Hehe, you're no fun at all, Doc. Don't I at least get a couple of points for getting you going a liiiittle bit?

[He did getcha, right? Right??]

How you holding up, anyway?

There should have been a conflict in the Pacific Ocean starting around 1941. From what I've picked up it seemed interesting.

[ Smooth, oh so very smooth and subtle. There's no way a know it all like Ratio will put two and two together, as Akagi tells her with a giggle. Kaga ignores her, she doesn't really care about that, there's a few people here who know that history already. She just wants to know how things resolved. Her world broke out of that forgone future, sure enough, but it might help to know in case she or Akagi ever get a chance to communicate with the Azur Lane or Crimson Axis ever again. ]

December 7th specifically, I think. I am unsure of when it ended.

All for free, doc? You shouldn't have.

Where's the tip jar? Ten out of ten out of ten out of ten. 💯

[ He thinks back on what he knows about the Astral Express. A planet they have not visited before... ]

Have you heard of Melustanin? It is widely known as the planet where Idrila ascended into Aeonhood. Befitting that legacy, the planet has been described as one of undying allure.

I am not offering these out of desire for some profit. Keep your money and your praise to yourself.

Anyone would be a fool not to. But then again, I'm the only one who gets to hear you at the pinnacle of human emotion. So maybe you're right, there's no need to give a testimonial when I'm not inclined to share that particular experience.

Not just a snack, Doc, but the whole meal.

Don't you have anything better to do with your time than spy on people?

Now, now. The good doctor might have spoken too quickly. If you're inclined to lighten your digital wallet, I'll gladly take what Kryptos you're willing to spare.

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Audio | @rubber ducky

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