[ Ratio knows what Aventurine fears. He knows that he believes there is a price for his luck, paid by the blood of others but never him. It's hard to shake that belief when all whom you've cherished have ended up dying in the end.
It's merely survivor's guilt and a fundamental misattribution of occurrences in his life, Ratio would say to that, from his safe and cushioned seat in the castle of his sheltered life. He does believe that, still, but he isn't so callous as to say that now. Not without plenty of evidence that disproves it. And what better way would there be to disprove such a belief than live, against all perceived odds, and be the one constant in his life that is never taken away?
Ratio has always valued his life and would have always picked any choice that would keep himself safe above all, but now, it is no longer a choice. It is an imperative. ]
It will be easier if you stop trying to dissuade me from doing so. Know that you cannot stop me from choosing as I desire, and I desire you. So cease your protests and save the trouble for the both of us.
[ More than ever before, Ratio can see clearly how he wants to live his life. It does not involve throwing his life away the moment he is forced to choose between all that he's worked for and Aventurine. No, it starts with a complete change in everything—moving pieces now so that he will never be forced to make such a choice. To build a world where Aventurine and his work will never come in conflict; to build a life where Aventurine no longer feels the need to run and hide from unknown enemies targeting him every second of his life.
Yet here Aventurine is, already assuming Ratio will want to leave him in the future. If he wasn't so aware of the man's lack of self-esteem, he would be offended. He's still a little offended, in honesty.
So he pulls back from the hug to give Aventurine a nasty pinch of the cheek. ]
You offend me with those words, Kakavasha Ratio. Have you no faith in me whatsoever, to ask this of me immediately after my proposal? Or do you think me foolish for proposing in the first place?
[ The words may be harsh, but he speaks them gently. It is a reprimand, but it is not meant to make Aventurine feel terrible. He only wishes Aventurine would stop assuming he'll leave one day. ]
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It's merely survivor's guilt and a fundamental misattribution of occurrences in his life, Ratio would say to that, from his safe and cushioned seat in the castle of his sheltered life. He does believe that, still, but he isn't so callous as to say that now. Not without plenty of evidence that disproves it. And what better way would there be to disprove such a belief than live, against all perceived odds, and be the one constant in his life that is never taken away?
Ratio has always valued his life and would have always picked any choice that would keep himself safe above all, but now, it is no longer a choice. It is an imperative. ]
It will be easier if you stop trying to dissuade me from doing so. Know that you cannot stop me from choosing as I desire, and I desire you. So cease your protests and save the trouble for the both of us.
[ More than ever before, Ratio can see clearly how he wants to live his life. It does not involve throwing his life away the moment he is forced to choose between all that he's worked for and Aventurine. No, it starts with a complete change in everything—moving pieces now so that he will never be forced to make such a choice. To build a world where Aventurine and his work will never come in conflict; to build a life where Aventurine no longer feels the need to run and hide from unknown enemies targeting him every second of his life.
Yet here Aventurine is, already assuming Ratio will want to leave him in the future. If he wasn't so aware of the man's lack of self-esteem, he would be offended. He's still a little offended, in honesty.
So he pulls back from the hug to give Aventurine a nasty pinch of the cheek. ]
You offend me with those words, Kakavasha Ratio. Have you no faith in me whatsoever, to ask this of me immediately after my proposal? Or do you think me foolish for proposing in the first place?
[ The words may be harsh, but he speaks them gently. It is a reprimand, but it is not meant to make Aventurine feel terrible. He only wishes Aventurine would stop assuming he'll leave one day. ]