( Is it what he truly wants? Aventurine hates being honest -- with himself, with other people -- it allows him to be vulnerable, to open himself up to being used or taken advantage of; things Ratio already knows. But by the same turn, Aventurine knows and trusts Ratio enough that that isn't an option with the other man. Ratio will demand he be better, he will grump and needle and be as brusque as he ever is, but in their years of partnership he has never left Aventurine to fend for himself.

Aventurine loves him. That much is true. And he's terrified of losing Ratio -- if not because Ratio suddenly gets wise and leaves him, then because his luck has decided to take its toll. But even with that... would he rather not have Ratio at all? He doesn't deserve the other man's love and kindness, but he wants it. He selfishly wants all of it with a desperation that leaves him breathless.

Allowing himself that... the idea of a future with Ratio by his side, of coming home and finding him there or of greeting the other man when he comes home after a long day -- he wants that. He wants people to know that this beautiful, impossible, brilliant man has picked him, of all people, to spend the rest of his life with.

So, really -- yes, he does truly want it. But-- )

Are you sure, Veritas? You, of all people, know what you're getting into with me. I won't blame you if this is a step too far, you know.